Ily has given me the Plastic Joy Award, and I am supposed to name five persons with whom I would like to get jiggy if I could. That's so cute. "If I could." Anyway, the thing is, everyone already knows that my list would look like this:
1. Joan Jett
2. Eva Larue
3. Joan Jett
4. Jordana Brewster
5. Joan Jett
Clearly, they've been delayed in traffic. I expected them by now. So, while I'm waiting, why don't we play a little game? Let's imagine that I've been hanging around with rampantly heterosexual persons such as Riot Kitty and Ily.
...and that I've emerged with a new view on things.
Suddenly, I'm going through men like M&M's. How can I choose just five? Well, it won't be easy, and I'll, um, have to conduct a great number of extremely private interviews, but for you, my readers, I have culled the herd and these five men have survived. (Note: the heartless Ily, after shoving me into the Straightmaker Machine, proceeded to scarf up Ed Harris, Andy Garcia and, of course, Johnny Depp right off the top. Who's left for me, Ily? Doctor Freaking Phil?)
Well, I have my little ways, just the same. And to prove it, here are my five:
Oh my gosh, I feel dizzy...I think the effects of the StraightMaker Machine are wearing off. I hope Joan or Eva or Jordana get here soon! I'm going to go watch "The L Word" until they arrive. Meanwhile, please help yourselves to the Plastic Joy Award, if you'd like to participate. And there's Coke in the fridge.
Poetry next post, I promise!