to oppose Miss Millington's hat.
Her spectacles cause learned men to brawl in the snow of the quad
like boys.
The Monsignor admires Miss Millington's gloves
because they inspire emotions not cataloged in the regular catechism.
Mullahs and Minoans cut in to dance with her
while philatelists paste her profile onto postage stamps.
Do you know Miss Millington?
Everyone does. Everyone celebrates her.
Miss Millington drips furs and peacock feathers.
Kings offer their backs as step stools, at the door of her limousine.
She sets the style.
She has the smile that artists go mad to capture.
But what is this?
Brownie the cockeyed dog has soiled her dainty shoe!
He grins,
better satisfied than all her admirers stacked together.
______
go, brownie, go! take that insufferable b*tch down a notch! :P
ReplyDeleteHa! I hate to start quoting, but if I was prone to that, I would start with the spectacles, run through the Mullahs, Minoans, and philatelists, then crash and burn on her dainty shoe.
ReplyDeleteThen I'd need a bath, after Brownie and all. Deviously excellent, Shay.
BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAloha from Honolulu,
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
> < } } ( ° >
> < 3 3 3 ( ' >
Oh golly me!!!
ReplyDeleteI needed this - what a good laugh for a Sunday morning. I literally held my breath past every delicately worded couplet and expelled it all on the last lines.
Take a bow. (And one for the bow-bow.)
Having just spent a few days in Beverly Hills, I feel as if I've seen a few of Miss Millington's kin. And the Mullahs and Minoans too. You've captured the essence with your keen eye and sharp mind.
ReplyDeleteyes, you can always count on dogs to do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteThis is just brilliant. Beginning to end brilliant.
ReplyDeletehaha...i am rather fond of that pups...yes, makes me think of being 'forced' to watch Downton Abbey recently...i rather relate more to the servants in that...well kinda, they are far too compliant....ha.
ReplyDeleteThe opening cracked me up. When I read that armies were after her hat, I knew for sure that this was going to get really good.
ReplyDeleteThese are my favorites:
"Her spectacles cause learned men to brawl in the snow of the quad
like boys."
"they inspire emotions not cataloged in the regular catechism"
"philatelists" It excites me when poets take the opportunity to teach me new words. How else will I learn them if you don't incorporate them into your writing?
"Miss Millington drips furs and peacock feathers."
"Kings offer their backs as step stools"
I must confess, I really liked her and sort of wanted to paint her myself. I was bummed when the pup soiled her shoes. Poor thing.
This poem certainly caught my eye ... I was Ms. Millington for eight years! No furs or peacock feathers, times I didn't even like her ~ or him.
ReplyDeleteNothing like a little cockeyed dog to set the balance of the universe to right! I am so happy to get a chance to read this again :)
ReplyDeleteGood morning as soon as I saw the pic I knew it was going to interesting and I was correct. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteElegantly shitty.
ReplyDelete...emotions not catalogued in the catechism! ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteOh, first, I ADORE the photo, would LOVE to believe you pulled it out of your family album. (don't tell me otherwise) and yes, the dog knows exactly the right thing to "say". And he is the one I'm sure she loves the most (besides herself that is:)
Very nice, Shay ~~ I loved it all. Too bad about the dog, it may have ruined her day.
ReplyDeleteI passed Ms. M. twice on the way home from Tesco's today. One was with her dog, she eyed me as I eyed her dog. He didn't pee on me.
The other one, I swear was G. P a l t h r o w. She lives in the hood as well as P. Mc C a r t n e y being around the corner. She was dressed in a NICE blue dress, wore sun glasses, and was very cute.
No dog would pee on her, ever. God would strike him dead if he tried.
..
Arch. That's the word I was looking for. For which I was looking, whatever. F'n brill, as Slick Eddie might have said (that's another story.) ~ M
ReplyDeleteLove the dog...nothing like an animal to put you in your place...brilliant write as always!
ReplyDelete... delighted to see this one again.
ReplyDelete