i buried it in the ground.
rain came hard,
and drove it on down.
tooth come jaw--
jaw come head--
daddy fire the shotgun
and it bleed bright red.
daddy get the shovel,
clouds take the moon,
daddy meet the devil
if he don't do it soon.
______
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i just love your varied styles. true talent.
ReplyDeleteWhen Coal comes back, she doesn't mess around. I can see barefoot children chanting this as a curse, holding hands, dancing in a circle in the rain.
ReplyDeleteCoal! Coal! Coal! Coal!
ReplyDeleteCreepy cool! I can imagine this being used in a horror film, where kids chant this while skipping rope in slow motion as the opening credits roll. *shiver!*
ReplyDelete"Can the mind recoil even as the heart yearns?"
ReplyDeleteFortunately, we need never wonder that of you as heart and mind yearn in unison, Shayward.
Aloha
from Waikiki,
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
> < } } ( ° >
> < 3 3 3 ( ' >
Turnip gets the gold star ~~~ first thing I visualized was kids doing some double dutch! Creepy???
ReplyDeleteshivers...dang if it just not a catchy enough tune to find myself singing in the night...seriously if i can't sleep tonight...i am blaming you...
ReplyDeletea fine bite of black magic shay
Quite creepy.
ReplyDeleteNow I can't sleepy.
Seriously, I love the rhythm of this piece. Almost Paul Laurence Dunbar-like. (spelling?
verrrrrry cool, SP!! and i LOVE Macy Gray ~ i hadn't heard her version of this song. almost as amazing as your poem. you know i'm gonna hafta steal it to use in a post. {smile} seems like lately all i do is steal your ideas....
ReplyDeleteforgive me?
♥
Love Macy Gray, but this is pure Coal Black! Loved it more.
ReplyDeleteThe perfect mix of elegance and creep. Yikes and thanks, Mosk
ReplyDeleteyikes!
ReplyDeleteOh I was just wanting me some Coal this morning. And she always delivers!
ReplyDeletesomewhere in some strange alternate universe there are little demons skipping rope to that refrain
ReplyDeleteI need to be strong to read your blog. I come away feeling mauled. xx
ReplyDeleteThis is my favorite part, the way you used "come" instead of "became"/"become" here:
ReplyDelete"tooth come jaw--
jaw come head--"
I love Coal's funky style with verbs. And I would never impose rules upon her because she just doesn't roll that way. And that's cool. But I'm wondering if you might want to use a consistent verb tense. Most of this is present tense, but a bit is past. If it's on purpose, groovy. If not, you might consider this:
"dog spit out a tooth--
i bury it in the ground.
rain come hard,
and drive it on down. ..."
Unless you want the opening to be past tense, in which case you need "spat" rather than "spit."
The rest is all essentially present tense.
But it's perfectly delightful as is. Just thought I'd share my thoughts.
LOVE THIS! 'Minds me of Practical Magic ~ a Nelson Women fav!
ReplyDeleteWow. This was a perfect read for my Southern accent. It reminds me of all the stories I heard when I was a kid; most of them scared me. Somehow, Southern stories aren't always happy ending tales.
ReplyDeleteYour poems are so diverse it amazes me, but I love you for it. I sit at my desk and read them aloud:~)
Happy day to you, Shay!
OH, a southern accent or a Gullah one is how I hear this splendid little piece ... read under a full moon of course.
ReplyDeletethe ONE TIME i don't read your labels! thank you for allowing Coal to make a guest appearance! you know you both rock!
ReplyDelete♥