that's what I thought
the first time I saw your face,
and heard your name.
I hoped
(cos I'm a dreamer like that),
that you'd at least want
to be my friend, and let me hang around.
Look at you, woman...
gorgeous, smart, funny;
my Favorite from the start.
Here's a joke,
here's a confidence.
If you ever want it, here's my heart.
Who could have been more surprised
or pleased than me,
when after being friends for so long,
you tipped your hand
in a "subtle" way
you said "bombs away"
and let me know how it was.
Look at you, woman...
gorgeous, smart, funny;
my Favorite from the start.
Now, I could never imagine being without
your face,
your ways,
your love.
From now on I know it's true,
just the way I feel every time you look my way--
it's out of my hands!
I'll never stand a chance, with you.
_______
for Fireblossom Friday at Real Toads "doubletalk".
amazing, I just love it
ReplyDeleteSuper groovy. What a great poem to start the day with.
ReplyDeleteThese are my Favorites (besides you in general):
"that you'd at least want
to be my friend, and let me hang around"
"Here's a joke,
here's a confidence.
If you ever want it, here's my heart."
"you tipped your hand
in a 'subtle' way
you said 'bombs away'
and let me know how it was."
My absolute fave is the last line because of how many different things it means: "I'll never stand a chance, with you." I can think of three meanings, right off the bat.
I love the childlike voice, cos it's how I talk. :)
I also like that you capitalized the "F" in favorite. Some of us toss around the word "favorite" a lot (like every speaking human). So you're saying she's like your Favorite favorite. The one Favorite above all the rest, even if you gush over more than one. She's THE one.
Shay--All you'd have to do is write them a poem, and they'd fall down at your feet...
ReplyDeleteLovely! You capture the way a relationship can turn on a single moment and statements take on their opposite meaning.
ReplyDeleteI never thought I'd see the day when you'd write a seemingly earnest love poem sans irony. A pleasant surprise and delightful read, and when was the last time anyone described your writing that way? Much love, Mosk
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ReplyDeleteno, we never stand a chance when our hearts are involved.
ReplyDeleteahhh. a happy one... or is it? :)
ReplyDeleteI love the turns and the hope and the spin of your poem! Wow ;D
ReplyDeletei'm with Moskowitz, this is jarringly straight-on in its romantic worshipfulness, so much so that i suspect something hidden behind it, though i hope i am wrong.
ReplyDeleteA great example of how relationships can change in an instant.
ReplyDeleteYou have totally NAILED the world of difference in your first and closing lines. I love this, as I love to see my friend happy:-)
ReplyDeleteSo sweet and sentimental... careful, you don't want your reputation to be sullied :) (we ALL know you are a big softie on the inside... but we won't tell anyone. Just lovely, this poem. And what an interesting portrait angle.
ReplyDeleteIt is what it is, sometimes. Love is a very simple thing, really, and so is being happy. We often lose sight of that in the 'doubletalk,' but not here. Warm and tender as a California sunset.
ReplyDeleteWow very subtle change in this one. I kept wondering until nearly the end how you were possibly going to change the meaning! You really do have this form of yours honed! Neat prompt.
ReplyDeleteIt is really hard when relationships take an unexpected turn. Your poem expresses this so well.
ReplyDeleteI adore this! The (deceptive) simplicity reminds of the way classic love songs were crafted. And, it sings!
ReplyDeleteThat tiny little comma ... love how it changed the last line ...
ReplyDeleteOh yes, and this line ~ 'that you'd at least want to be my friend, and let me hang around'
I suspect everyone who knows you, reads your poetry wants to be your friend, hang around.
There is such joy in this. It is a much needed feeling after this week. Beautiful Shay.
ReplyDeletestunning. this built up so beautifully. the "'bombs away'" stanza brought a smile to my face; and the final line, just perfect.
ReplyDeleteIt's so delicious to find love and have it reciprocated. I enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteStrange isn't it, the way "i'll never stand a chance" can twist into hope and even motivation. Perhaps in that respect I find this a little circular and divine....a spiral perhaps. Viva la and thanks for the wonderful FBF prompt....I am off to do my evils.
ReplyDeletesorry, SP! i would have sworn i commented on this! brilliant! {autobiographical by any chance?} {smile}
ReplyDelete♥ ♥ ♥
I just love this and the love story. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteOh my word!! You rocked the difference in meaning! Umm...I was coming to tell you I wrote one for you but now I'm shy suddenly. ;) Any way.
ReplyDeleteI love your poem and I love that kind of feeling...that electric one that's passed in a glance, sheer magic!!
Smiles to you and thanks so much for the prompt, Shay...got my brain cells moving! :)