The Queen Of The Vampires fails to make the cheerleading squad because she is not perceived as being "perky."
She has another problem as well--
She makes a friend, they seem cool, she bites the friend, they become immortal, yadda yadda;
Then after a while, she is in a different space, they've grown in different directions,
And the friend becomes a little tiresome but still has to be invited to parties, whatever, and this goes on forever,
Because the friend has been made eternal,
The Queen Of The Vampires' boyfriend senses her fragile mood
And takes her to an Italian restaurant.
Garlic, duh, and so she has to stagger outside and have a ciggie while sitting on the curb.
"I'm sorry," he says, his cloth napkin hanging stupidly from his throat.
"Please fuck off," says the QOTV, but her voice is such
That she can tell you to eat shit and die and it sounds so sweet, so pleasing,
That you end up wanting to kiss her.
The QOTV can change shape at will--
She becomes a panther and glides across the street into the Sav-Mart lot
Leaps into a truck being loaded with junk by some dark-haired chick.
The QOTV knocks the paper sacks back out, one by one, then stares at the woman with her unsettling yellow eyes.
Leaving the ice cream to melt on the pavement,
Dark Haired Chick gets in, starts the engine, and drives them in companionable silence directly to
Danny's Coffee Shop in Norman.
They walk in and grab a spot.
When the waitress arrives, the QOTV draws back like an upside-down "U" or a big black bad-tempered accordion.
The waitress is God.
"Relax, She's here all the time," says Dark Haired Chick, then adds, "Try the Pumpkin Spice."
The Queen Of The Vampires shreds her side of the booth with her fearsome claws, then settles in.
Although it is not what she normally drinks, she orders what The Chick suggested.
While they are waiting, the little bell above the door jingles
And a bunch of blonde cheerleaders blow in, jabbering like mad.
Dark Haired Chick and The Queen Of The Vampires just look at each other.
What were those girls saying, just now?
Neither of them knows.
(They don't speak a word of Perkinese).