Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Rapture

With the sound of trumpets, The Rapture arrives.

Unexpectedly, though, the trumpets sound disappointingly like muzak.

The Rapture arrives, on a Tuesday morning, to the sound of a Herb Alpert knock-off band.

Righteous people are vacuumed up into the sky from wherever they stand, but

Unfortunately, some are not vacuumed powerfully enough, and come back down,

Leaving messes for the wicked,

Who didn't like them anyway,

To clean up.

The Rapture comes, right in the middle of Maury Povich.

Unhappily, some of the righteous are not vacuumed up in their entirety,

Leaving behind an arm or a leg or someone's head.

Someone's head says that it feels certain this must be God's plan for it.

Unavoidably, whatever else it said is indistinguishable when some of the wicked begin using it for a soccer ball.

On the whole, say reviewers later,

--and one must remember that these reviewers are wicked--

The Rapture does not live up to its hype.

Everybody goes back to work, or school, or to doing nothing,

And waits for Armageddon.

(Teaser clips available

at Armageddon




  1. Oh,sorry, I misread.
    I thought this was call
    The Rupture.

  2. I guess I can put off buying that new soccor ball ;-)

  3. This is perhaps the best line in the history of English:

    The Rapture comes, right in the middle of Maury Povich.

  4. I am in raptures about you, woman!

  5. Sounds like Video Games......
    Rapture and Armegeddon!

  6. Love this .. it made me remember a very odd but involving book called Weaveworld by Clive Barker

  7. Hi! I had quite a time with my blog. Will come and read this post later.

    By the way, please visit my blog. There's a surprise waiting for you!

  8. I'm guessing that Maury would continue on as if nothing happend.

  9. Why is this so funny to me?? Maury Povich...LMAO

    Chica, you must be entertaining angels all over the place! :)

  10. ROFLMAO! This somehow makes great sense to me...hope I can stay so then I can just enjoy the beauty of nature with all the other heathens!!!

    Many hugs!

  11. I'm gonna quit being such a GoooD person --grin!

    EXCEPT on your blog, Fireblossom

    You're a terrific writer...can you understand me? My head just rolled into the netting at the end of the field. Everyone's yelling, "SCORE!"

  12. hey ! Lovely Shay ♥!!!
    You mean you left a comment which wasn't kept!!!! oh! What a shame. Anyway, thanks for checking. It's true I get sad if you forget me! ;)

  13. God would do much better with an Electrolux over a Hoover.


Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?