"Everybody's somebody's fool" --Connie Francis
The Lorelei is brought into Maritime Court, charged with luring sailors to their deaths with the beauty of her voice.
A jury of her peers is empaneled, but disqualified when The Lorelei testifies in her own defense,
And nine of the jurors throw themselves over the rail to sit at her feet
Where she pets them like so many Pomeranians.
An all-female jury replaces the first one, but still, five of them pass The Lorelei impassioned notes,
Suggesting meetings after they have seen to her acquittal.
"Objection!" thunders the prosecuting attorney. "The defendant is to blame for dozens of shipwrecks and the loss of life and property!"
"Oh sure, blame the woman," mutters The Lorelei, rolling her eyes.
In the end, she cannot be convicted.
Even a bench trial fails when, upon hearing The Lorelei promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and so on, the judge drops his gavel and proposes to her on the spot.
She refuses him.
The Lorelei becomes a media darling.
On E! she is asked why she isn't blonde, as traditionally depicted in art and illustration,
And her silent scorn is potent enough to send the interviewer, a former soap opera hunk, away in tears.
The Lorelei decides to grab lunch at Danny's Coffee Shop.
She sits at the counter and tries to chat up the chick next to her, just because she can;
But she is ignored, which has never happened before, and The Lorelei gets flustered and drops her keys.
Chloe, born on a sunny Sunday in May, says,
"God what a ditz. Pick those up."
Chloe is the heart-breaking murderess of Danny's Coffee Shop, and has never felt sorry for a single thing she's done.
Look at her eyes--they are
For the rest of the afternoon, The Lorelei sits at Chloe's feet like a Pomeranian.
Despite the ruin it will bring, she cannot help herself.
From The Lorelei's glass of water,
A thousand sailors laugh
And sing songs honoring Chloe,
Their unexpected Queen
Of ironic revenge.
Those unfamiliar with Chloe can find her here.