My heart remembers, dear friends, the glad evening
when the davenport did receive my person even as a
mother cradles her firstborn. O happy hour! O time of bliss!
As I watched astonished, I was provided with a magical light
Which emanated--as if from the mansions of Heaven!--
as a glowing loveliness from a device with which I was blessed.
O wide screen! O splendor of high definition! My heart
remembers these wonders and even now, gladness fills me,
Despite the trials which befell me in the fullness of time.
I was given to behold wonders, and amazing scenes,
called "a game show" by the sages whose words were
handed down to me. My heart remembers all these things!
Lifting the golden cheesy triangle of glorious pizza to my lips,
my heart soared as I gave myself unto such debauchery
as cannot be imagined! The devil mozzarella! The imp pep-
peroni! My heart remembers, and quakes with shame!
Hear me, lest wickedness overtake you! Partaketh not of
spicy foods in the hours after the sun's arc has been completed!
My desires ruined me! My merriment furthered my misery!
My heart remembers my unwise and froward acts. O torment!
My heart remembers how I was robbed of any rest, my belly
filled with a burning fire, until I cried out, "Can there be no mercy?
Is there no Pepto in all this miserable and curs-ed land?"
The hours passed as slowly as wisdom to the mind of a fool!
Heed me well, my friends. In sooth, I made my prison with
mine own willfullness! My heart remembers the pleasures,
the new wine (okay, Coca-Cola), and the mad revelry which
laid me low, but my stomach remembers sevenfold! O ruin!
__________
for What's Going On? What the heart Remembers
Music: Rubber Chicken My Heart Will Go On
I enjoyed this way too much. Delightful, so much fun. I especially resonate with the light from the big screen. I loved this so much!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is so unique and delightfully humorous, Shay! What a way to describe a wide screen!
ReplyDeleteSuch a delightful poem! 'My desires ruined me!' Ha, that's the nature of desire. :D
ReplyDeleteI love the language in this poem, the serious tone, the tongue in cheek. Ah yes, the wide screen was miraculous indeed. But that must have been one spicy pizza and one awful stomach ache! Even worse than the norovirus going around!!
ReplyDeleteThat pepperoni gets me every time as I search for tums to ease the indigestion. I have now ended my love with spicy foods.
ReplyDeleteThis poem really made me smile - thank you for that - the comedy and tone throughout was terrific
ReplyDeleteFortunately I did not have my coffee cup poised to my lips as I read this, lest the miraculous juice of the magic bean have scalded my entire face and body, or worse fate, exited from my convulsing nostrils. Nonetheless, thine vivid and appalling screed to such memories chastised me in my greed for spicy indulgences, and rebuked me sorely for mine own relentless debauchery. I stand humbled before the sacred davenport. A perfect little piece, Shay.
ReplyDeleteOMG is is wonderful! For the love of all that's holy ... make it Coke Zero.
ReplyDeleteOh for the love of heartburn I have gloried in front of my T.V. with all things spicy and ignored I had chose exactly what would cause bile to bubble. Love this Poem. For me I need my foolish. :)
ReplyDeleteO Scion of Wisdom Undecipherable, O Pontif of Gastronomical Curdled Splendor, To Thee I Sing (burp)! You have squeezed from I Confabulations all that is Mighty Terrible! Surely this is our fate, to sit forever on davenports beholding glowing screens and innards burning incandescently! I bow before your wit and munificence of poetic diction as I fall out of my chair in tears, laughing hysterical. (And that video doesn't help LOL). OODLES of thanks for lightening this cold, cloudy day. ;)
ReplyDelete" My heart remembers, dear friends, the glad evening
ReplyDeletewhen the davenport did receive my person even as a
mother cradles her firstborn." With such an image, the lure is set and the delightfully depicted debauchery becomes irresistible! Thank you for taking me there!
Hahahaha. I laughed so much at this and the song. Thank you, brilliant poetess. I hope you have recovered well.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Great. Maximum points for "froward."
ReplyDelete"Partaketh not of
ReplyDeletespicy foods in the hours after the sun's arc has been completed!"
Ha ha! I hope you've recovered now :) Good advice, except I adore spices and am very partial to a fiery pickle now and again (well, most days!)
And I'm sure there are other alternatives to Coca-Cola (who are highly suspect in what they invest their money in 😤)