I gave you what you asked for--
a funny book which I know now
you surely never read.
I gave you what you asked for--
someone you could maneuver into
saying, "I thee wed."
I gave you what you asked for--
someone to tie the tourniquet
every time you bled.
I gave you what you asked for--
a foil to be the fodder for
the monsters in your head.
I gave you what you asked for--
seven years of love alive and
six more stood up dead.
I gave you what you asked for--
my heart's writing you called "nice."
That's when I gave you all my scorn
and back your rotten rice.
________
for What's Going On?--"Home Made"
Music: Sara Bareilles Wicked Love
Perfect poem! I like the storytelling and the repetition--like your perfect song! ". . . my heart's writing you called "nice." / That's when I gave you all my scorn . . . " It takes a while to break those addictive relationships. It takes loving yourself more.
ReplyDeleteIt is very sad to give someone so much of your heart and get so little appreciation. I am glad that you finally found your way out!
ReplyDeleteWow! To say I relate to this is an understatement. An amazing write, from the heart. We both deserved so much better than we got. "Nice" for your poems - gah! Which reminds me of the scared look on my ex's face when I told him one day I would expose him in print. I never did, but my typewriter was the one weapon I had. Plus my brain. Smiles.
ReplyDeleteA gothic tale of what we may sacrifice in love - I am glad it ends with a return to power - wonderful to read
ReplyDeleteSome people are so self-centered and loves to make others unhappy! It's always a relief to come out of such toxic relationships. The close is perfect.
ReplyDeleteThe repetition and direct address are very effective, Shay; I felt so guilty as I read your poem, and felt the bitterness in the lines
ReplyDelete‘someone to tie the tourniquet
every time you bled’
and
‘I gave you what you asked for--
my heart's writing you called "nice".’
The situation resonates.
This is powerful and perfect. You are really making smooth rhyming poems lately!
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad, Shay, without being maudlin, just telling it like it is and beautifully, brilliantly. Being everything someone you love wants, how can you help it? We love them and want them to be happy, comforted, a safe haven for their needs. All without having a haven of our own. But when they dismiss that haven, and our "heart's writing," that best homemade part of ourselves, they deserve no more of us, dead or alive. I love the way you put it, every stanza, rhyme and meter, the most powerful for me being "someone to tie the tourniquet
ReplyDeleteevery time you bled" & "a foil to be the fodder for
the monsters in your head." Couldn't be more perfect.
Love this! As always you hit a nail on the head. The last two lines made me smile and then say yessss.
ReplyDeleteTight, crisp writing. Moves through the repetition and rhymes elegantly. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThis is a hammer hit. I love it. I was blessed to find my husband, but there have been so many I've given time and space to, I wish I could get back.
ReplyDeleteYou hit the right note. great poem. Sad it happened but happy it's written by a warrior heart
ReplyDeleteThe rhyme here really reinforces the singsong sense of futility and yet also, the sweetness of an old song that once led us further than we wanted to go, to somewhere that took a lot of pain to escape. Beautiful, simple, clean and potent writing.
ReplyDelete