The Sinful Green Bean

The sinful green bean grows up in a beautiful garden, with other green beans.

It is naked, and yet not ashamed.

Everything it needs is there--

Sunshine.

Water.

Nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium.


Still, the rebellious, disobedient and very sinful green bean is not content.

It wants to go to New York, Paris, Rio and Las Vegas.

It wants some fine Peruvian cocaine.

It wants a semi-automatic handgun.

It wants a lap dance.


The hand of God reaches down and picks the wicked little green bean and casts it into a basket with other lost legumes.

The sinful green bean is flash-frozen and put inside a sunless place.

"Godammit," says the green bean, who among its other sins, has developed a potty mouth.

Eventually, the willful and wayward green bean is cooked inside a casserole.

Oh misery of heat and suffering!


The sinful green bean was youthful, slender and blessed, but its covetous and selfish nature sent it on a nightmare journey into pyrex hell.

Remember this, when you want something that isn't yours,

Or more than is your lot in life.

Be righteous--

Don't become the devil's side dish.


Go in peace, but come back next week when Fireblossom's nondenominational brimstone church presents:

"The Disrespectful Putty Knife."
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