When I Died

When I died, my body was taken to the amusement park and loaded onto the ferris wheel.

I rose into the starry night-face of God

As if I were a child

Needing a goodnight kiss.

When I died, the carnies kindly took me in--

We would sit, after-hours, holding cotton candy sideways like chicken legs, our faces pink.

I asked,

Where is the after-life?

They told me, Noob,

This is it.

When I died, I left the heavy wet worsted of my flesh behind,

And found I could dance as I had always dreamt of doing.

If I could think it, I could do it,

My perfect expressions so beautiful that my friend the strongman was left in tears watching me.

With his truck tire sized hands, he would pluck me from the rivers flowing down his cheeks

And lift me above his head,

Like a happy puppy.

When I died, I looked back at my life and I said,

What a clusterfuck.

What a smoking pile-up.

At the circus, there are mirrors--I can plunge inside them and become short or tall, wide as the midway or as slender as the chances we'll still be here in the morning.

When I died, I ran away and joined the circus.

I take tickets, I do the books, I am a listening ear for Dog-boy and Gator-girl.

Because I am a wisp, a breath, a purple feather falling from an aerialist's costume,

I may marry my strongman.

At the very least, I will kiss him to start his heart,

And let him carry me around like a little five-pound barbell.

Secure within his meaty mitt,

I will be happy, like some sort of love-luggage;

In the mornings I will wax his mustache and, with the smile I reserve for him, I will call him handsome, and my hero.

It will not be life. Too late for that;

But it will be better than anything I have known 'til now.


Shadow said…
are you sure???? please tell me this is so so that i can stop this worrying about death....
jack sender said…
This was a fun ride off and away.
Kay said…
hope still blossoms in the after life...? wonderful! and that photo-- I can so do that! :)
ellen abbott said…
I loved this Shay. Made me smile this morning.
TALON said…
There was such lightness in this. And a vividness.

Really lovely, Shay.
Anonymous said…
Muse-shmuse you are awesome!
Daryl said…
Sounds like a good end to come to
Jannie Funster said…
Hello little love luggage!

When i did I hope it's all cotton candy and ferris wheels too. Oh, and candy apples!! And all the fried stuff I can stuff down me.

Jannie Funster said…
die, not did, that should be.
steveroni said…
So you hired a news muse who used to write obits???

All I know about when I died, was that it happened when I began "following" you. And I joined the State Fair Peeps, and love traveling!

This post left me (not quite-grin!) SPEECHLESS! SO goooood!
Ileana said…
You make me want to contemplate a beautiful afterlife...with cotton candy in my hair and all over my face, Chica! Sweet visuals in this one. Me gusta.
Sara said…
There are times when your poetry makes me sigh with wonder.

I love..."At the very least, I will kiss him to start his heart..." and " I rose into the starry night-face of God."

It makes me smile to think that you can see yourself dying and being reborn in an amusement park:~)
Dul├že ♥ said…
I need to see my life when I died as you've done so well
WOMAN-- This is beyond mere thought provoking
This has no adjectives to be described... I hope you know what I mean...
Anonymous said…
Where do I sign up? I want a carnie afterlife, me... :)
mac said…
What a lovely way to die.

And, what a lucky Strong Man !
Joanna Jenkins said…
Wow, that was through-provoking and whimsical and just plain awesome!

Anonymous said…
You took us to that place, that continuum of space, where existence is like that of a tree in the woods. My interpretation.

You are expert at allowing us to wonder about things!

Mama Zen said…
I'm going to go out on a limb here with my freaky self, but this sounds like hell.
Anonymous said…
Sounds like quite an adventure.
Cloudia said…
Brava, fireblossom Shay, BrAvA!!!!

Aloha from Hawaii my Friend!
and brava!

Comfort Spiral
RachelW said…
Aww... I do like this one. It appeals to me the way a lot of fantasy/ sci fi writing does. What wonderful escapism!
Vesper said…
This is amazing, Shay. What an imagination! I love the bittersweetness of the poem... it is so appropriate... And the image you chose for it is so interesting! Makes me think of a birth... Maybe that's what death is... a birth into something else...
Sherry Blue Sky said…
Wow. LOVE the clusterfuck!!! I loved this escape to the carnies.
Dear Shay,
This is a tour-de-force, and heartbreakingly beautiful - loved it so much.

Mosk the Weak Man

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