Oh Noes! Riot Ketteh Tag!

My Twin, Riot Kitty, has tagged me (Remember? You DID! You freaking did. You so did.) for this 20 Questions Meme! Okay, so look. I'm not waiting for that one blogger to finally show up. Let's get started! (...and if my evil scheme has worked, half of you are thinking, "is it me? does she mean me??? Bwahaha)

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing that you thought?

I thought, "Hello, Gorgeous!" This is not always the case, but it was today.

You see, sometimes I look in the mirror and see this.

And then just other times, I look in the mirror and see this. I think there is something the matter with my mirror.

2. Do you miss anyone right now?

Yes. Jennifer Beals. I dreamt last night that....well just you never mind, all you horrid little nosey parkers! Suffice to say that when I woke up, it took me a minute to realize it was just a dream, and I felt kinda gypped about that. 

3. If you could move anyplace else, would you?

Canada, man. I loov it up der. I wanna meet a lady Mountie. We can watch da National and eat donuts.  Then go check the traps. Fookin paradise, yanno? I hoop she like hockey, too.

4. If you could choose, what would your last meal be?

A big, messy, out of control seafood platter! I'm really a Selkie, you know. 

5. What famous person, dead or alive, would you like to have lunch with?

Well, she wasn't famous, so I guess I can't choose my paternal grandmother. (because I'm all about strict adherence to rules, as most of you know.) She died when I was two, so I don't remember her, but from everything I've heard, in her prime she was some gal. I expect that a bit of her may have come down to me, shy lil Fireblossom that I yam. Olive Thomas, the silent movie queen referenced in the picture, will have to stand in, as I have no photographs of my grandmother. Oh but, what about the rules, you'll say! Okay okay. I'd have lunch with Joan Jett. I mean DUH. LOL.

6. What was the last book you read?

"Life, In Spite Of Me" by Kristen Anderson. It was a gift from my friend Tab of  Through My Eyes.  At seventeen, Kristen had been rocked by several things that happened in her life, and she lay down on a railroad track to end her life. God had other plans for her, though, and she survived. This book is her remarkable story.

7. What was the last movie you watched?

It was a double feature dvd I got from Netflix. It starred Mabel Normand in two silent films: "The Extra Girl" (1923) and "The Gusher" (1913). In "The Extra Girl" Mabel goes to Hollywood to try to make good and is given odd jobs instead. There is a star who is afraid of lions, so they have to dress up a dog as a lion for the big action scene. Our Mabel goes to fetch the "lion", not realizing that the docile pooch has been replaced with a real lion. She goes walking through the lot with this King of Beasts trailing behind her on a rope. Everyone scatters, of course, and she can't figure it out, though eventually she does. It's pretty hysterical. Mabel was the original movie funnywoman, and it is said that it was she who argued Mack Sennett into keeping Charlie Chaplin and giving him another chance, after Charlie had early difficulties adjusting from stage to film. 

8. What was the last song you heard?

I've been listening to Rachael Yamagata's "Happenstance." I'm not sure if the last song I heard was "Letter Read" or "Wore Me Down." Let my future biographer worry about it. ;-)

9.What's your dream vacation?

You suck, little meme, making me divulge my cherished little dream to everybody. You're a hard one, yes you are. I would like nothing better than to spend a week back where I used to live, San Antonio, Texas. I would like to go there with someone I love (applicants sign the sheet). We would stay a night at the haunted Menger (pictured above), then switch to the most expensive hotel on the River Walk, and just laze and eat at all the restaurants, hang out in the sun and buy lots of touristy junk. People do this, I know. Maybe me, one day.

10. What is the next trip you'll take?

Probably to the grocery store or the coin laundry. My life is really not that interesting!

11. Did you ever go to camp?

No. There would have been bugs. Bugs. As if. Be serious.

12. Have you ever been in love? 

Yes.

13. What do you want to know about the future?

Nothing. Let it unfold.

14. Where is your best friend?

Passed out on the floor, next to the bed. Those of you who know my long-ago drunken history will say, "What, again???" But it is only sweet wonderful Bosco, my doggy. I love him so.

15. How is your best friend? 

He is addicted to Purina Beggin' treats. Especially Canadian Cuts. What is it with us and things Canadian? Bosco is a herder, and will nudge me up the hallway toward the kitchen as if I were a rather dim, Beggin' treat bearing sheep. Wait a minute....

16. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?

This woman on my mail route. She is always out front messing with her lawn or washing her car, but her real purpose is to engage anyone who passes by in conversation, trying to pump them for tidbits. She once stood on her porch and told me she couldn't "condone" my rainbow jewelry. Talk to the hand, cos the queer mail lady ain't listenin'. 

17. What does your last text message say?

Text message? I don't own a cell phone or crackberry or iphone or portable world domination device. My last email told me I was wonderful, and like that. Cool, right? :-)

18. What are three things you've always wanted to do, and still plan to accomplish?

Publish a book or books. Win a major literary award. Meet the guy from Travel Channel's "Man Vs. Food" and tell him he's da bomb. 

19. What is one thing you've learned from your parents?

From my father I learned that simple things--a funny movie, a ball game, a good meal--will bring you more pleasure than any degree of professional accomplishment ever will. 

From my mother, I learned that no one can crush my spirit, though they try and try. "My house is made of bricks and I will not let you in!" For the record, there is no hair on my chinny chin chin, though. This is why Goddess, in Her wisdom, invented tweezers. 

20. What is the one thing you hope to teach your own children?

My son is 25, so I bloody well better have taught him it already. But I would say, if i had to choose just one thing, it would be that love matters the most. And after that, to get his happy little butt out here and get his bike out of the driveway so that I can pull my car in. He has confessed to me in later years, that he sometimes did this intentionally to get my goat. Cute kid! But he really was. And I am so proud of the man he has become. 

TAG! You're it. :-)

_________