Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dinner At Eight

The awful cook makes feetloaf;
And for dessert, a layer snake.

The terrible servants serve it;
Each course out of order and late.

We all sit down
And choke it down,
Then summon the incompetent doctor.

He pronounces us well
Though we itch and swell,
Then departs via helicopter.

The horrible host says goodnight by post
Three weeks later by standard form...

We're invited to dinner again next winter,
Alfresco in the howling storm.

_______

for One Shot Wednesday
at
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52 comments:

  1. ellen abbottAugust 31, 2010 at 5:27 PM

    well, that was fun.

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  2. Dulçe ♥August 31, 2010 at 5:27 PM

    LOl
    Gorgeous... I've just taken part on this One shot W thing!
    :)

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  3. Brian MillerAugust 31, 2010 at 5:39 PM

    feetloaf...lol...is that sole food? i do like meatloaf...one of my favorite comfort foods and snake is not bad a bit chewy...quite the intriguing dinner party shay. nice one shot!

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  4. Carrie Van HornAugust 31, 2010 at 6:01 PM

    Alfresco in the howling storm...i want to try that! I love it!! :-)

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  5. signed...bkmAugust 31, 2010 at 6:50 PM

    love the feetloaf...a trip to the Adams Family home, when i was younger - someone at work used to call me Mortica...fun, fun post...bkm

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  6. BeachannyAugust 31, 2010 at 6:54 PM

    Extremely clever and funny. Word play was excellent; I felt I'd experienced a formal but gruesome dinner party--oh wait a minute, I did. Thanks, Gay

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  7. UnknownAugust 31, 2010 at 7:27 PM

    Hope winter is far enough away to prime your taste buds for another!

    Entertaining poem:)

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  8. TALONAugust 31, 2010 at 8:10 PM

    This was a hoot from beginning to end, Shay. How sweet of the guests to partake!

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  9. moondustwriterAugust 31, 2010 at 8:39 PM

    I was thinking "oh no I haven't eaten and she is going to have my mouth watering" Ha I should have known.
    Not hungry!!!

    moonie smiles

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  10. Maude LynnAugust 31, 2010 at 8:55 PM

    Well! See if I invite you to another one of my dinner parties!

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  11. Riot KittyAugust 31, 2010 at 9:05 PM

    Feetloaf! Whose feet? :)

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  12. Riot KittyAugust 31, 2010 at 9:06 PM

    PS Babs would not approve.

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  13. fayeAugust 31, 2010 at 9:43 PM

    I was expecting a Rocky Horror Show
    soiree...

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  14. Tess KincaidAugust 31, 2010 at 9:51 PM

    I'm thinking Titus Andronicus here...or it would make a great jump rope song!

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  15. Desert RoseAugust 31, 2010 at 10:31 PM

    ahaaaa..too sweet! needed this light feeling now..lovely!

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  16. UnknownAugust 31, 2010 at 10:34 PM

    Awesomely funny!

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  17. G-ManAugust 31, 2010 at 10:45 PM

    Is this on Bizzaro World?

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  18. CloudiaSeptember 1, 2010 at 12:13 AM

    I love your poetry. Nice shot of your face on da blog, Shay!



    Warm Aloha from Waikiki

    Comfort Spiral

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  19. AnonymousSeptember 1, 2010 at 1:33 AM

    sounds like my kind of dinner:P i think i laughed the whole time. reminds me of one of my fave poetry books when i was little, "Beastly Rhymes."

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  20. Jannie FunsterSeptember 1, 2010 at 7:35 AM

    Ah, you are so funny!

    I think I might hold off a while on breatfast now. :)

    xo

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  21. LynnSeptember 1, 2010 at 7:53 AM

    Feetloaf!!!! Oh my.

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  22. macSeptember 1, 2010 at 7:53 AM

    This dinner seems mpre viscious
    than it does delicious
    If you know wha I mean

    The only question yet to be seen
    Is who is going to clean
    All those dirty dishes ?

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  23. UnknownSeptember 1, 2010 at 9:49 AM

    I laughed, then read it three times. What a party! And thank you for the enjoyable time I spent here.

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  24. MarshySeptember 1, 2010 at 9:51 AM

    yep..as everyone else said...feetloaf....but perfer mine with lashings of jam..thats toe jam LOL...a great enjoyable poem..cheers pete

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  25. MojoSeptember 1, 2010 at 9:54 AM

    Sorry... I had a hard time getting past feetloaf.

    It was a Rock Horror flashback.

    Sort of.

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  26. BubbaSeptember 1, 2010 at 10:15 AM

    Umm, Shay? Sorry, something suddenly came up and I can't make it for dinner this weekend. Maybe next time.

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  27. CatySeptember 1, 2010 at 10:27 AM

    I'm not sure I'd except another invitation to this dinner party. Feetloaf cracked me up!!

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  28. GlynnSeptember 1, 2010 at 10:44 AM

    And for dinner next winter
    I will feast like a beast
    And hope the M.D.
    Stays away from me.

    This was great fun.

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  29. LindaSeptember 1, 2010 at 11:19 AM

    So fun to read - just what the doctor ordered. ;)

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  30. DarylSeptember 1, 2010 at 12:44 PM

    I hope everyone chewed thoroughly so no one had to administer the Hemlock Maneuver

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  31. SaraSeptember 1, 2010 at 2:56 PM

    THIS IS SO GREAT:~) I loved reading this one...it was fun...everything backwards. I like feetloaf and layer snake:~)

    Oh, you are so clever and you make reading poetry the most fun. I want to write like you:~)

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  32. PattiKenSeptember 1, 2010 at 4:06 PM

    Very clever and so much fun! Great job.

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  33. Joanna JenkinsSeptember 1, 2010 at 6:51 PM

    Hey Shay, I'm back from vacation and so happy to read all your fabulous work. What a gift you have.

    I've had a few "feetloafs" in my day. You crack me up.

    Hope you are good. Happy September,
    jj

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  34. Shark ButtSeptember 1, 2010 at 8:16 PM

    sounds like good eatin' and better than we get in this fitch free house.

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  35. Roland D. YeomansSeptember 1, 2010 at 8:20 PM

    Do you write Haiku's there's a Haiku blogfest going on Thursday and Friday

    http://hatshepsutnovel.blogspot.com/2010/08/announcing-haiku-blogfest.html

    You have poetic talent -- that's obvious -- I thought you might like to enter, Roland

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  36. Katherine KrigeSeptember 1, 2010 at 10:27 PM

    Great poem! What a delightful dinner party? How could you refuse a repeat? haha

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  37. KaySeptember 2, 2010 at 1:30 AM

    I think next year, I'll call in dead.

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  38. LaTonya BaldwinAugust 5, 2013 at 7:56 AM

    another reason I'm a veghead. lol

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  39. HelenAugust 5, 2013 at 9:10 AM

    SO glad you posted this one .. I missed it first time around. Consider this my RSVP!

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  40. SusanAugust 5, 2013 at 9:19 AM

    "Alfresco in the howling" winter!
    Ha! Frozen guests would be the frosting on the cake! Grotesque indeed.

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  41. TimoteoAugust 5, 2013 at 10:23 AM

    Where is the dog under the table when you really need him?

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  42. UnknownAugust 5, 2013 at 10:52 AM

    no feetloaf please

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  43. UnknownAugust 5, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    Interesting dinner...

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  44. Kerry O'ConnorAugust 5, 2013 at 1:27 PM

    I'm very happy to get as chance to read this poem. It reminds me of all the meals, of one sort or another, that we are forced to swallow. Excellent metaphor and darkly humorous.

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  45. PeggyAugust 5, 2013 at 2:54 PM

    Fun silly poem. Gave me a chuckle. At least I am not THAT awful a cook!

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  46. humbirdAugust 5, 2013 at 6:49 PM

    Funny and so whimsical food...

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  47. hedgewitchAugust 5, 2013 at 7:16 PM

    One of your word romps that can't help but cause a ladylike snorkle if not a carefully repressed guffaw. I think I've been to that place some years ago, when I didn't know any better than to accept food from strangers.Glad to have the chance to read it, Shay.

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  48. AnonymousAugust 5, 2013 at 8:12 PM

    i have been to this dinner...pretty sure it was the company which made the food so bad...

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  49. AnonymousAugust 6, 2013 at 12:40 AM

    Your tag about the rich said it all. Sure, you have the exotic foods, etc., but the awkwardness, the lack of consideration for guests in favor of uniqueness and extravagance... I LOVED this little stinger, Shay, brill. Amy

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  50. ed pilollaAugust 6, 2013 at 2:42 AM

    a delightful feast.

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  51. grapelingAugust 6, 2013 at 12:54 PM

    No ladyfingers?

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  52. Kay L. DaviesAugust 6, 2013 at 1:04 PM

    Fabulous, Shay. I enjoyed this but am glad I wasn't invited.
    K

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