Carrying my heart between my lungs in a bag of broken glass
So I wear a thousand overcoats
And can't feel it when they ask
What are you going to do about...?
Why do you...?
What makes you think that we...?
You always...
You never...
The best thing about a bottle is it has a mouth but never talks
So I take it off alone some place
And we kiss til I can't walk
Do you care about ____ at all?
Is anything more important to you than...?
How long do you think you can...?
You'll only wind up dead...
Please shut up and let me pass out here
On the shards so pretty and red.
_______
Perfect pairing ~ image and words.
ReplyDeleteLove the contrast between the neat rhymed stanzas and the formless, prodding, annoying questions with no right answers...middle rhyme is my fave---sometimes stopping all the talk is best, however you get there.
ReplyDeleteOkay, it's official. You are not from this planet. Mere Earth People cannot string such words in succession.
ReplyDeleteWOW~
xoxo
no...you shut up :)
ReplyDeletethis is so annoyingly wonderful
Shielding feelings with a thousand overcoats. Wow - that is wonderful imagery.
ReplyDeleteThat bottle used to be my friend. The fucker caused me nothing but trouble.
ReplyDeleteWell, we all wind up dead.
I passed the time where I could have left a pretty corpse long ago ;-)
.
The bottle with the mouth that kisses and never talks, yea. I know her well. she wanted me for herself, but I told her no. There were things I wanted to say and people I wanted to say them to. She couldn't have me. Not then. Not today.
ReplyDeleteYour poetry rocks. you know that, right?
and we kiss til I can't walk......wow! Excellent poem!
ReplyDelete"Please shut up" is quite fun...
ReplyDeleteOne suggestion for you--would you consider cutting the first line, "It's like"? Then it would begin with "Carrying your heart" which is a really strong opening. Just something to consider, perhaps...
Right you are, Hannah. Done. :-)
ReplyDeleteWe all wind up dead, do we not?
ReplyDeleteUntil then . . . unicorns!
I loved the three middle lines the best as well. However, the whole piece--as usual--is brilliant.
ReplyDeleteWhy haven't you published these pieces in an anthology? They're wicked good.
That particular mouth is sweet but deadly...if kissed too often. I get it and I love it...the poetry, that is.
ReplyDeleteTalk about a "hook" to end all hooks, your opening lines just grab the reader.......carrying your heart in a bag of broken glass........and the thousand overcoats?????? oh my god!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFantastic and powerful poem, important topic.
to have a mouth, but do not speak... love your bottle friend...
ReplyDeletewouldn't it just be easier to be stupid?
To have a brain, but not to think???
mmm hmmm... that would be oddly refreshing actually....
too many questions.... let me breathe!!!!!
ReplyDeletefark this is hot shay...your opening grabs us...then the kisses...i am swooning...keep questioning...
ReplyDeleteOuch...this one cuts, Shay.
ReplyDeleteShay
ReplyDeleteIf the overcoats could insulate we would
Well maybe not ...
We put up with the shards
Knowing smile from the moon
"Carried by clouds"
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
><}}(°>
Great images and effective notions - exemplary.
ReplyDeleteUm...ow! This one hurts so good. I loved that damn bottle once too, but I decided I liked walking too much to keep kissing it.
ReplyDeleteYour opening is perfect. And a "thousand overcoats"...get outta here; it's soooo good!
Totally feeling this. Thanks for sharing!
Beautiful poem, and lovely photo to match !
ReplyDeletestopped in for a visit; haven't been around much. this made my day; I loved this piece, the first stanza and the line "has a mouth but does not speak" are absolutely perfect
ReplyDelete