Her kiss takes your breath,
and while you're weak,
she'll take the rest.
She'll have your child,
but bear it dead--
then raise it up
(but just the head.)
Kiss me
instead.
______
for Words Count at Real Toads. 37 words on the nose.
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The italicized "me" added to this perfect piece.
ReplyDeleteThis early in the morning and you produce THIS? Yikes! I've got to put on some foundation (which I don't have) to color my (now) green face... ;)
The ease with which you've worked in
ReplyDeletehexatonic goatameter is laudable. I've always found the double inverse Ventetian sonnet a little too punctilious, but you've won me over! I applaud yourvsharp observations about universal health care in alternate universes and your adept mingling of iconic images from religion and string theory. Sheer perfection, Shay!
I've met that girl--I think my son married her once. Whilst I am still laughing from Lolamouse's comment, I do also still feel the sinister, the sense of evil that some people carry behind a front of beauty and smiles. Short, not sweet, but smart.
ReplyDeleteSurreal, macabre, passionate!
ReplyDeleteahahah love the rhythm! You'll get all the kisses, definitely. :)
ReplyDeleteHere's mine:
Kiss.
<3
you never fail to amaze.
ReplyDeleteThis is the most flawless execution of goatameter it has ever been my privilege to read.
ReplyDeleteI adore this and give it 5 kisses!
The passion in darkness...love it!!
ReplyDeletedeliciously dark, just the way I like it.
ReplyDeleteouch...rich and dark... :)
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, between your poem and lolamouse's comment, I am completely intimidated! Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteWow! Not nice at all! Snappy, sharp little piece here.
ReplyDeleteThat rocks!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteRich and inviting details leading us into the dark-and then surprise-so fun to read!
ReplyDeleteYikes, what a scary broad!
ReplyDeleteHope Bosco is doing better this week.
Sounds like my kinda woman!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteOh, Jim, there are bad girls!! (Lolamouse is on fire, I can't compete).
ReplyDeleteLet's hope this was a fib, as the other girl sounds too sinister to even consider in the first place!
Beware the kiss
ReplyDeleteFrom a sultry Miss
And if you're young
She'll steal your tongue!!!
LOL. This was fun:~)
ReplyDeleteLolamouse is of course correct, though what Catblossom thinks of a mouse in her lair, I can only wince.
ReplyDeleteAs at this girl. Wince. ~