I started it so long ago, I can't now recall the opening lines
or even how I came to have this book.
I think it was a gift, but I'm not sure from whom,
and though it's at most about a hundred pages long.
it has a great many chapters and characters.
Sometimes I love it and wish I could stay on a favorite page forever,
but by turns I want to throw it against the wall or destroy it.
Every time I think I've figured out where it's going or what it means,
the narrative changes and goes off in some unexpected direction.
I'm often displeased with the author or the characters
and wonder why in the world the story goes the way it does.
For the first few chapters, I was eager to read it quickly,
but as I've gotten nearer the finish than the start I want to slow down.
I loved some characters so much that they became part of me,
and I genuinely suffered when they were written out of the tale.
Others I hated and yet they lingered for page after page.
I had hopes for what would come next, more when I started than now.
What began as a children's book, became YA, adult fiction,
and now it's almost a memoir. I'm not sure how many pages are left.
I wonder, what if I had found myself reading a different edition,
a sequel, another book by the same author, a different genre,
setting, plot, or style? Would i have liked those better, or less?
Ah well, even though I have thrilled to the love scenes, cried when
the characters failed, were terribly hurt, or died, believed every word
or scoffed at the absurdity of it, none of it is even actual in the end.
It's a tale, something made-up, though it has seemed very real.
Novels, plays, films, they move me, change me, sometimes bore me,
irritate me, or leave me in despair, but they are only shadows.
One day, the book will fall from my hand, and I'll protest that I
wasn't finished! or perhaps I'll sigh and say I'm glad to be shut of it.
No one else will read my particular book again after me, though
sections and passages may be passed down and I'll be
a character in someone else's book, a product of imagination.
_______
for What's Going On? -- Books/Reading.
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Ahhhhh I do believe we might have been on the same "page" so to speak.. this mystical tranported essence is absolutely lovely .. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteWonderful. The book of life. And I will tell you true, if you wrote your memoir I would buy the first copy. I resonate completely with this poem journey, not sure how many chapters I have left. Smiles.
ReplyDelete"It's a tale, something made-up, though it has seemed very real." And that is real, too, an off moment in our self-narration. Brilliant! I identify.
ReplyDeleteI love the depth in this poem, Shay, and the direct address, as if you are taking me, the reader, me, into your confidence. Your book of life is personal, which comes through in the lines:
ReplyDelete‘Sometimes I love it and wish I could stay on a favorite page forever,
but by turns I want to throw it against the wall or destroy it.
Every time I think I've figured out where it's going or what it means,
the narrative changes and goes off in some unexpected direction’
and
‘What began as a children's book, became YA, adult fiction,
and now it's almost a memoir. I'm not sure how many pages are left.’
I smiled when I read the final line, as I am a character in my husband’s book, really!
This feels like a very personal poem. One to savor and read and reread. So many shades of meaning. I love the idea that we each have a book of our own life, and so very true. Also that we are each characters in someone else's book!
ReplyDeleteOn a different level, this poem made me think of different books that I have read. Sometimes they start out good, then go off in a totally different direction causing me to lose interest. Often I will plug along for a while, trying to adjust to the convoluted plot. A bit like real life, I guess. Smiles!
Brilliant and such depth in the writing - full of hidden messages - Fascinating writing.
ReplyDeleteI felt like I entered your inner book-world. Love this steady succession of words almost like stream of consciousness. The whole thought process is so beautifully rich. "and wish I could stay on a favorite page forever," Ha you are speaking my mind here.
ReplyDeleteLife as a book, a tale beautifully rendered here, Shay. A book that's put in our hands yet is out of our hands in so many ways. You capture the mystery, the romance, all the genres of it, and leave us pondering thoughts such as "none of it is even actual in the end," giving us a sense of the distance we sometimes feel from our own lives, how ephemeral life is, and when it's gone, how unreal.
ReplyDeleteWonderful Shay, great depth and breadth! I’m reading a similar book, but the plot has changed so many times — I have lost the thread.
ReplyDelete