Friday, March 19, 2010

I like wut I like and I doan like wut i doan, babycakes

My Twin the Riot Kitty has tagged me--sort of, it was a mass, voluntary tag--for a meme. I haven't felt so singled out for special attention since I was eight and Mister Menguser screamed, "All you kids, off my lawn! NOW!" I knew in that moment that I wanted to be a mail lady and walk on everybody's lawn. Contrary to the bone, I am.

What I must do, according to the ruuuu... the rooooo...the things I'm supposed to do, is I'm spozed ta list five things I dislike, and then five things I like.

So, without further ado:

(woman imitating a man doing a big important announcer voice) FIVE THINGS I DISLIKE!

1. Cell phone zombies. You know the ones. Oblivious to everything except the half-witted conversation they are having as they let the door slam in your face, or stand there blocking the grocery aisle, or force you to listen to them as you try to enjoy a meal in a restaurant. I hate them even more if they SHOUT and SCREAM into the phone, because they can't hear themselves like on a land line. Extra hate, too, for cell zombies who utterly fail to interact with the person right in front of them because they are busy yammering with someone who is miles away.

2. Peeps. I'm talking about those nausea-inducing Easter edibles. They are the very definition of "too sweet", in taste, texture and appearance. Yick.

3. People who use incredibly annoying too-long catchphrases. Like, "at this point in time" instead of "now." Or who say "myself" when they mean "me." Or who refer to a "fan base" when "fans" says the same thing. Their mouths should be taped shut.

4. Reality TV. I don't give a monkey's butt about loggers, repo men, ice road truckers, Gene Simmons, Real Housewives Of Pompano Beach, or ghost hunters with their green night vision and phony "did you hear that?!? What WAS that?!?" manufactured hooey. Science experiments for you all.

5. Golf and golfers. When I say I don't care for the game, that does NOT mean try even harder to get me to take it up. I don't want to hear about your swing. I don't want to hear about your score. I don't want to look at you standing there wearing that. I don't care about Tiger Woods, or who he slept with, or when he is coming back. Any grown man going by the name "Tiger" should be sent to a re-education camp in Siberia and his paperwork lost. 

Oh dear. Do I sound harsh? Let me slip a flower into my hair and proceed with my Likes List:

1. I love hippy-trippy acid rock from the late 60s. Big Brother. The Airplane. Inna Gadda Da Vida, bay beh. LOL. Incense and Peppermints. White Bird must fly. Are You Experienced? Have another HIT...of sweet California sunshine. Groovy baby!

2. Mexican food. I didn't know a thing about Mexican food until I moved to San Antonio Texas, where there is--or at least was, when I lived there--a mom and pop Mexican place on every street corner, or so it seemed. When I went back to visit, in 2001, I wondered all the way down if it was really as yummy as I recalled it being. It was. Oh...it was. :-)

3. Femaleness. Is there something more interesting than all of the sweet, nurturing, bitchy, catty, perplexing, consistently inconsistent, brilliant, underappreciated, irreplaceable, beautiful, uncategorizable, creative, clever, maddening, holy, sensual, funny, unstoppable sweet mess that is women? No, there isn't. 

4. Animals. I can't imagine my life without animals. My pets have repeatedly saved my life, my sanity and my sense of humor. It is my great privelege to take care of them, love them, laugh at their silly moments, and share my life with them. They have much to teach and much to give. All they ask is company and kindness. Bosco agrees with my #4.

5. My friends. That would be you, reading this, now. Thank you. I am so glad you are here!

_____

21 comments:

Cloudia said...

you should have your own show, wait you DO - this groovy blog :0

Aloha from Hawaii my Friend!


Comfort Spiral

mac said...

I agree with all of your like/dislikes !

I do, however, use my phone too much sometimes.

And seriously, Golf, WTF?? Could a sport be any more lame? There is something wrong with a game in which the guy who takes the fewest strokes wins!

Patty said...

I enjoyed this very much. Thanks for the chuckles too. I must confess that there are certain reality shows that I am sort of addicted to. (ice road truckers is not one of them) LOL. Dito on the golf. Except for miniature golf.

6512 and growing said...

Love the part about people using way too many words to say something simple; nice list!

Riot Kitty said...

Excellent! I just woke up from a nap way past your bedtime your time, or I'd call and give you a virtual hug ;)

Talon said...

*whispering* I love golf. No, not Tiger Woods, no, not watching it on television - but playing it. I just do.

Loved both your lists. I don't even own a cell phone. I hate them.

Steve E said...

Ever since age 3 I've gotten a thrill out of not doing what I'm supposed to be doing--that's true!

So, I like #2 and #3. When I pick Femaleness, I do not mean any of the trite, whistle-producing "sugar-and-spice" crap--well, maybe--but the stuff YOU wrote, all those attributes, which the female of any species can claim. Like the Black Widow, the gorilla, the poor donkey, so sad, for she cannot have babies. Crap, I'm writing a blog here.

Wait, one more:
And oh yeah, Mexican FOOD. Yeyaaah!

Oh and cell phone misuse. It is not misusing the phone I do not like. It is because those types of Peeps are invariably self-centered, geranium-brained slobs to begin with...oh my, did I say that???

Shay, I feel like a hypocrite when I write now:

PEACE! Loved your lists Rahlly!

ellen abbott said...

I refuse to watch reality TV. I live reality, man (or should I say wo-man). I want my entertainment to be total fantasy.

good lists.

and where do you find these pictures!?

the walking man said...

Canned heat Fried Hockey Boogie...the boys had to be trippin'

Ily said...

I'm so with you on your # 3 (dislikes), but...how 'bout Real Housewives from Miami?? Don't you care about us??? :`(

Chica, when you make it to Miami, we'll go out for CUBAN food (like Mexican...only MEJOR) and of course, a trip to our friendly, neighborhood chocolate shop for some good stuff! :)

Marion said...

I like and dislike the same things you do! Happy first day of Spring!! Blessings!

Kay said...

we like you too! ;)

Daryl said...

Loud music from someone else's earbuds .. seriously, dude, I dont want to hear what you are listening to ...otherwise we are in agreement here

Secretia said...

Yeah, those cell-phone zombies, ther are way too many of them!

Secretia

Mama Zen said...

I don't like Peeps, either, but I feel compelled to eat them. Can you help me, Dr. Shay?

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Dearest Shay,

Now I understand you not only better than before but now think that we have been seperated at birthy, I am so with you one the dislikes it's redonkulous...LOL!

Seriously though, I cannot stand cell phone zobmies and although I have a cell I will never ever do that ignore one in person for one on the phone...it's rude and wrong.

On the LIKES...that is why I love you!!!

xooxoxoG

Jannie Funster said...

I LIVE for Ice Road Truckers (even if only the first 2 seasons were any good.)

Easter Creme eggs? Yes, very sweet, but I gotta have at least one a year.

xo

Joanna Jenkins said...

Ha! "Any grown man going by the name "Tiger" should be sent to a re-education camp in Siberia and his paperwork lost." That really says it all about Tiger-- other than Loser ;-)

LOVE the little blonde in your last pic!

This is anew meme-- I like the 5+5. Great job.

Happy weekend,
jj

Liza said...

"Extra hate"
What a wickedly wonderful post.
Mama Zen's comment is hilarious.
Starting the day with laughter...Ah what could be better!

cinderkeys said...

I can deal with dislike #1 unless they commit the sin for which you have extra hate. If I'm spending time with YOU, I don't answer my phone unless I know it might be important, and then I keep it short.

I have a new rule. (I like rules when I invent them.) If we're hanging out, you are obligated to provide me with some other form of entertainment when you have a protracted cell phone conversation.

Terrace Crawford said...

Priceless expressions.

--Terrace Crawford
www.terracecrawford.com
www.twitter.com/terracecrawford