Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Feral Flux



I tried to fit in.

I did.

I tried to sleep in a bed,

To stretch out on linen sheets with the scent of lavender on my skin,  light as a blessing,

Or like snow on the frozen,

Staring straight up.



After a while, I always begin to itch and wear out razors by the pack full,

Every day,

Watching the dirt on my feet turn to pads,

My nails to claws.



I tried to lunch with the ladies.

I swear.

They ordered salads, and I meant to, too,

But before I knew it,

I was skidding across the table with a rabbit in my jaws

And it bled

On the cutlery and the bread,

And I grew nervous

As I lay it down dead and jumped through the plate glass

And into the night.



I tried to be what I saw.

Honestly.

But I have always been so hungry,

So wild,

So other.

I have skulked around garbage cans and allowed housewives to shoo me with brooms.

Now, though,

I will drag one by her dreams to my home dug into the earth.

I will call her by the name of the eclipsed moon.

I will wait for her until she comes barefoot to seek my golden gaze

On the coldest night of the year.



Then,

I will tend as smooth and soft as such things can ever go;

I will speak in the voice I forgot before my earliest memory,

And I will make love with her

This time--

Oh, this time,

Without searching.

_________

17 comments:

  1. "I will speak in the voice I forgot before my earliest memory" - ah, for it to be all wiped out and started anew.

    Beautiful, Shay.

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  2. "i will try to be what i saw"...that is the line that got me...now much truth ...it leaves me thinking about (being without searching)....bkm

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  3. Ah, Shay. It begins beautifully and each line builds image by image upon the one before til the end is for tears. I can't pick out one line but the stanza that holds this is my favorite: "I will drag one by her dreams to my home dug into the earth...I will call her by the name of the eclipsed moon..." I feel like I've dreamed this, not read it.

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  4. pssst...hey, if you go before i go...can i have your mind?

    xx

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  5. "And it bled
    On the cutlery and the bread"

    That's amazing.

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  6. Still can't believe I actually "know" you. What a freaking treat to read your words.

    Pull her by her dream, ahhhhh.

    xoxo

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  7. Sorry, "drag" her by her dream. freaking awesome. I can just see her dream like long hair she is dragged by. Maybe a braid.

    xo

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  8. Wow, this just blew me away. So feral, indeed, and powerful. Just awesome!!

    Blessings,
    Marion

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  9. Shay,

    Your words touch on the feral in all of us. As women we're taught to be polite, to eat nicely and behave properly. But each of us has a wild side that this poem expresses. Each of us has those moments when we were "So wild/So other."

    Since others shared their favorite lines, mine was: "I will drag one by her dreams to my home dug into the earth." I love the words "by her dreams."

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  10. Wow. A full repast! I especially love "I will call her by the name of the eclipsed moon.". But I absolutely adore the leaping across the table with a rabbit in her mouth, dripping blood on everything, on all the pretty salads. Oh I wish my brain worked just a FRACTION the way yours does! (Notice my daughter knows better than to ask for MY brain, hee hee. Living with it once is more than enough for her:))

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  11. ummm...no offence, but wouldn't that be genetically redundant? xx

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  12. Sometimes it's just too freakin' hard to fit in.

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Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?