Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Travel Facts


  • In Mexico, men who do not bathe frequently enough are made to marry coyotes, unless of course the coyote objects, in which case the wedding is off.
  • In Peru, it is thought that storing dice inside a chili pepper for 24 hours heats them up.
  • In Russia, sunlight is such a rare commodity that tiny slivers can be traded for caviar, vodka, or genuine sable coats.
  • In Oklahoma, the women are known for being spirited but difficult, and have been known to inflict injury with expertly-wielded family bibles.
  • The English are prone to constipation. 
  • In India, tigers often kidnap beautiful princesses, and never bring them back. Years later, amazing striped women walk into the villages, claiming to be the daughters of these princesses. It is considered unwise to contradict them.
  • In Michigan, there are no wolverines left, but if there were, they would be able to speak perfect French, having been taught by missionaries.
  • The Japanese burn with shame for the hideous secrets they keep about the shocking things they have done.
  • Scandinavians enjoy "ee haw" music.
  • Hungarian gypsies are able to turn ordinary crows into musical notes. When the crows fly, the gypsies dance. 
  • Australians cannot make themselves understood without bulky and impractical alphabet boards which they wear like vests and use for creating subtitles. They are always losing the R's.
  • Masai tribesmen enjoy puppet theater.
  • In Canada, space travel remains a pipe dream.
  • In the Philippines, "Star Trek" reruns are dubbed in Tagolog, the local language. 
  • Miami is the birthplace of both disco music and neo-cubist art.
  • Only a couple of these things are actually true.
for Magpie 50  

22 comments:

  1. Hilarious, and I do not know HOW you do it! The Smithsonian should put dibs on your brain:)

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  2. I enjoyed learning all these facts. Now I'll have to get myself a sub-title sandwich board and look for my arse. LOL. Great Magpie!!

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  3. Obviously the one about the Masai is true.

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  4. pipe dream izzit....I soitanly hope so !! Too much money been wasted on that nonesense already !!

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  5. Oh......and in the category "wordgarden"...... what is made from many things but not necesarily sweet ?






    cookie

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  6. I think the space travel/Canada bit might be true.

    I have no recollection of even Hearing about space travel when I was a student here. Mind you, I wasn't a student very long before the school board decided it would be best for all concerned if I didn't attend.

    Shame. With an education I might have invented space travel for Canadians! BASTARDS!

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  7. pssst...thought i'd mention i'd like to keep that bit about the school board to ourselves. Not sure my mom knows...

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  8. I am of Scandinavian descent and do not enjoy "ee haw" music. However, you may have ties to India and therefore it would be unwise for me to contradict you about this. Probably so even if you don't have ties to India!

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  9. ooooooookay. now which are truth and which aren't...

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  10. Fireblossom--The list is quirky and thought-provoking. I too wonder which ones are the truth and which ones are the lies...

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  11. Yeah - I don't think there is any space travel associated with Canada. I like the thought of that ee haw music in Scandinavia, so I vote for that one. :)

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  12. Shay what is true is you make me laugh...
    I know the stripped women one is true :)

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  13. Ha! But if they were all true, it would be a much more interesting world to live in...and think of all the dice-playing Peruvians whose eyes would be watering uncontrollably, allowing the Yanqui pigs to beat them at craps.

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  14. And it's probably just a well that fiction is to the fore! LOL

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  15. ..and there are no gophers left in MN because the MI wolverines ate them!

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  16. lol! quite an imagination you have there :)

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  17. Well, the Oklahoma one is definitely true!

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Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?