Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Egg Speaks

"I can't help still having a soft spot for Pan," says Egg, in an interview.

"Pan was the one who brought me out of my shell,

And when we touched, well! Things heated up in a hurry."

Egg looks wistful for a moment, then continues.

"But just when I was feeling solid in our relationship,

Just when I felt so sunny,

Pan dumped me."

A little drop of yolk slips down her face.

"It wasn't pretty after that.

First there was Plate, who was cold.

Then there was Fork, who was even worse, and left me in pieces.

I thought," says Egg, bravely,

"That I might be consumed entirely. But I wasn't."

Egg brightens.

"That was when I met Mayo and Mustard.

After the terrible loneliness of my post-Pan days, I finally felt that I was a part of something larger than myself."

Egg smiles shyly.

"I suppose you could say those were my salad days."

"But I never really forgot my first love, Pan.

Oh I know, he's heated it up with Bacon and Hash Browns and who-knows-who since we split up,

But I'll always love him anyway.

Pan was such a hottie."

The audience, mostly women, go "Awww," and several of them fumble in their bags for a tissue.

Oprah leans closer to Egg and asks gently,

"What about Chicken? The media has portrayed you as everything from bitter rivals, to being as close as mother and daughter. They even link Chicken and Pan romantically. Egg, what do you have to say about all of that?"

The audience gasps.

Oprah's face is alive with empathy.

The camera zooms in.

Egg speaks.

"Oh, Chicken just got her feathers ruffled because, with Pan, she knows that I came first."



vicariousrising said...

Cute. I love the graphic you found to go with it.

Pan is such a teflon whore.

Scarlet said...

Ha! Egg definitely looks hot in that pic!

Anonymous said...

I was going to call you a genius but then Vicarious Rising piped in with "teflon whore," and, well, there might be a tie.

Pouty Lips said...

Everyone knows chicken's just a flash in the pan. For every chicken there is a layer of eggs.

Shadow said...

oh sweetie you're the best... even the pink egg looks delightful after this.

Anonymous said...

Damn that pan - what was it thinking dumping egg.

Mama Zen said...

Finally, the truth is revealed, and the mystery is solved! The Egg came first!

Daryl said...


Fireblossom said...

Vi, tell me about it girlfriend. ;-)

LOL Scarlet, the camera loves Egg!

I'll take the tie, Kristin. ;-)

I'll defer to Col. Sanders on that one, Pouty!

Hehe Shadow. Glad you liked! :-)

I know, K, stupid pan anyway.

Yep, Mama Zen, come to Word Garden for the answers to all the eternal mysteries! ;-)

Thanks, Daryl!!! :-)

T said...

Ha Ha! This was very clever and fun!!

Riot Kitty said...

Cool pic, too!

Jannie Funster said...

I'm so glad you're not too chicken to post nutty ones like this!

Fireblossom said...

Hehe, thanks T! :-)

Yeah, I lucked into finding that, RK. I simply searched "egg".

LOL @ too chicken! I'm just glad I didn't "lay an egg" with this one, Jannie! ;-)

Zerilda The Superfluous Blogger said...

yo. i absolutely DID leave a comment on this. i loved it. where is my comment. what did someone do with my comment. i'm not happy.

now you will never know how much i liked this the first time. but the proof that i did is in the coming-back-to-read-it-again.