GOD

God sneezes,

Creating the Universe.

"Now you're going to have to take care of it, cos I'm not about to," says God's mother.

"Remember the hamsters?"

God sighs,

And twiddles at a planet or two with Her finger.

She'd rather have had a turtle.

God grows up and checks into the Raddison Riverfront Hotel.

She does not give Her mother the number.

God orders moo goo gai pan from room service.

Some guy says they don't have moo goo gai pan.

God says, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

God goes to the hotel bar to collect Her thoughts,

But people keep telling Her their problems.

She gets that a lot.

The next day, God goes shopping.

She wants some strappy sandals but forgets Her debit card.

She looks right,

Looks left,

Blinks,

And suddenly they are "Free! Today Only!"

God smiles.

She has always liked Her own printing.

God gets a job at Danny's Coffee Shop.

It turns out that She is a wizard with chalk,

And the menu boards She creates are spectacular.

In time, God moves in with a girl named Chloe.

On Sunday mornings, they play the Flaming Lips and dance.

When they are done dancing, they do other things.

Chloe asks, "Do you think we're going to hell?"

God's delighted laughter is like the Hallelujah Chorus, except girlier.

"I wouldn't worry about it," She says.

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