Oh hell yes, I've broken the law. All over the place. I turned right on red at that intersection where you're not supposed to Monday-Friday. Not enough? Well...I copied a dvd even though it had that FBI warning on it. I even loaned it to a friend. C'mon, this is practically an ongoing criminal enterprise.
I stepped on an ant. Check my shoe. I killed that ant. It will never carry a dirt clod twenty times its weight again, or be on Animal Planet. I took all that away. Look, Saffron, I'm a real bad-ass. (stop that laughing, Ily!) Riot Kitty sent me a bag of chocolates last Christmas, and I didn't report it on my taxes.
I'll be here waiting to be thrown in the back of your unmarked car. Throw the book at me. I prefer women's fiction. I'm waitinggggggggg.....
_______
Geez, what's a girl gotta do?
ReplyDeleteU ain't right. LOL!
ReplyDeleteuh oh... confession time... hope it works! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny! Loved the last part about preferring women's fiction.
ReplyDeleteI might jump the fence for her ... especially if she handcuffs me
ReplyDeletelol! I haven't ever said this to a friend before, but I hope you get arrested :)
ReplyDeleteShay -- While I loved the post, especially the poor little ant...my favorite part was your "labels."
ReplyDeleteI love the label, "I'm perfectly sane I tell you." I need to steal this one. Although the "strict lesbyterian" is pretty good, too:~)
You can very, very funny:~)
oh, you're a nut. but my favourite nut for sure!
ReplyDeleteSo you're the stalker I heard about in MZ's comments this morning!
ReplyDeleteI should've known.
*snorting uncontrollably*
Loved it (and you :)
ReplyDeleteall the way through;
The "punchline"
was masterful
(mistress-ful?)
Aloha from Spring in Waikiki!
Comfort Spiral
You. Crack. Me. Up!
ReplyDeleteThat was a hoot.
Good luck getting arrested ;-)
jj
Do you or do you not have an overdue library book? I'm not going to ask you again!
ReplyDeleteOH YES! :) And if someone is out there throwing books at people, please throw some at me too! I prefer memoir and anything that resembles 'The Book Thief' in tone or content. Just saying .... :)
ReplyDeleteIf you had a cell phone, you could text while driving. That'll get ya arrested for sure.
ReplyDeleteOr just find a pre-30 me. Cops were always inviting me to stay at their house for a few days, not sure what that was all about ;-)
I would love to be first on your comments or Ms MZ's but sadly I am a night time blogger so can't get there fast enough..:-)
ReplyDeleteOH though you've really been a bad bad girl indeed and I have no idea how she could ignore these HUGE infractions of the law...:-)
Love you
Who is Saffron Burrows?
ReplyDelete