Fete Me, Fete Me Now!

Darlings, it's not as if I go looking for it. What kind of blogger to you take me for? But when the amazing Sharon and the shocking Senorita both wanted to fete me, what could I do? Let's be real here, Cherubs. Most of the time, I spend locked up in my library, talking to the dust bunnies and channeling Miss Havisham. So I wasn't about to say, "Thank you but no, my 'Matlock' rerun is on." 

Sharon has feted me with this Versatile Blogger Award. Sharon, in addition to being an ORIGINAL and amazing writer, is so cute she makes Louisiana gators roll over on their backs at her feet, like house cats. If you haven't visited her yet, you're missing a wonderful blogger.

And then, perhaps noticing my fete-me heels and just-feted hair, Senorita gave me the Super Commenter blog survey. Senorita is a blogger not to be trifled with. She makes rappers blush and turn all shy. Not only that, but if you can't make head nor tails of what that man of yours is talking about, Senorita can do a flawless and magnificent "manslation" so that you can finally understand what he is babbling about. I stand in awe. But there are 10 survey questions I must submit to if I want to be feted. Well...what the hell!

1. What is your most embarrassing moment of all time? ...my most embarrassing moment of all time was when, during a party for family and friends at my old house, my mother decided to pointedly take me to task about needing to lose some weight. By the time she was done, the room had gone dead silent and I had gritted my teeth down to nubs. 

2. If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? ...cheeseburgers. See #1. 

3. How old were you when you had your first kiss? ...I was five. I had a little friend in kindergarten. 

4. What is your browser's home page? ...Google. I know, I can't stand the excitement either.

5. What color do you never, ever, wear? ...olive drab. I would rather be pitched off the Mackinac Bridge to certain death in the swirling waters below, than ever ever EVER wear anything olive drab or camo. 

6. Are you a nature lover or a city slicker? ...nature lover. You can find me out there gnawing on picnic tables with the squirrels any day.

7. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? (no saying "more wishes") ...Wish 1: to look exactly like Jordana Brewster. Wish 2: For all my debts to go away. Wish 3: To sleep with...oh, you didn't really think I would say who, did you? That would be inelegant! But she's not a celebrity, she's someone I know. The only celebrity we have here is Kid Rock, and I don't want to sleep with him. 

8. Do you have any scars? How did you get them? ...I have a small scar on my left wrist which makes me look as if I had a self-destructive moment, but it was actually Bosco's toenail that got me, when he was in my lap and heard something outside and had to get up and go investigate instantly. To be honest, I am astonished that it left a scar, but it did. 

9. Ever see a ghost? ...I have never seen a ghost, but I have sensed one, many times, in the house I grew up in, and also heard him loud and clear. My reality was affirmed later by my nieces, who hated staying the night at Gramma's house, because they sensed him, too, and were totally creeped out.  I have never felt that any other place. 

10. What is your dream job? ...Poet Laureate of the United States. I don't see a single reason why I shouldn't be. 

Thank you, gals, for thinking of me with these awards, and for making me late for work this morning, doing them. (and do please forgive me for the ridiculous suggestive tone of this entire post! I'm old, and have no idea what I'm actually doing!) You both rock. :-)