Monday, March 28, 2011

Art Critique



She is not that beautiful,

Many agree.

Not as much as

Melody Farnsworth

From 14 B,

Nor as several of the bricks

In the masonry.



Her hair is lank,

Her fingers fat.

I quite prefer

The landlady's cat.

Melody Farnsworth

From 14 B,

Says she is a tiresome example

Of the bourgeoisie.



What has she ever done that was noteworthy?

Or good?

She is too pale and passive, it seems to me,

And should be made to wash the floors

And the upholstery.



Melody Farnsworth

From 14 B,

Does not like artists

Particularly.

To create such a hag

With such lashless eyes

Is completely indefensible,

Morally reprehensible.



A moonbat from hell*

Is what Melody sees,

And makes her pronouncement

With which I agree.

Melody and I

Are smart, hip, and gorgeous,

And bear a distant

But telling

And very cool

Relation

To both the Roosevelts

And Borgias.

________

*thank you, Hedgewitch

for Magpie 59

I actually do claim a slight familial connection to the Hyde Park Roosevelts. Or maybe it was Fala.

________

35 comments:

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

funny, she doesn't look like a Kardashian..

HermanTurnip said...

Very Shel Silverstein-esque, if Shel was a political manic stalker with an eye for details ;-) Loved it!

ellen abbott said...

I know, right?

Marilyn said...

Oh this is excellent, I really enjoyed it.

hedgewitch said...

Yeah, I'm seein the relationship...both ways. It's a Gemini thing--Borgia/Roosevelt--that you and Melody are humming there, I think. And I'm all for wiping that smile off Mz ML's face with a little upholstery cleaning. Nice one all round, and glad you liked the line--it looks good where you put it. Not as gorgeous as the girls, but still... ;_)

versebender said...

You and melody in 14B might be on to something...a fine and funny analysis of the smiling lady. vb

Templeton's fury said...

i love you fireblossom. your writing always speaks to me. here's to the fiery Geminis!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Loved it! Especially the "moonbat from hell".......

Brian Miller said...

seriously the fact that she wont stop looking at me is creeping me out...

Lisa said...

Someone should have fixed her hair, ridiculous!

Is relaxing to come here, plus I always smile. I need to read more...

putting your link on my blackberry,
better than ativan :D

xx

gabrielle said...

I too am related to Lucrezia and have stolen a lock of her hair.

indiwriter said...

Enjoyed this.. give my regards to Melody Farnsworth from 14B. :-)

ileana said...

What a sweet way to wake up this morning...you made me smile (you and Melody Farnsworth from 14B).

PS - I never did see the big deal in the Mona Lisa. Yes, Chica, where ARE those lashes?? Now, Joan Jett...there's a woman worth painting (and she has some killer lashes)!

Lynn said...

Her fingers don't look fat to me - I know, focusing on the wrong thing. :)

K said...

Personality trumps looks any day - well at least over the long haul. If you're just talking about a day I guess looks can be enough.

Tess Kincaid said...

Jerry Seinfeld couldn't go out with her a second time with those man hands.

Sioux said...

The way you mix whimsical with the sublime...I bet you didn't even use a rhyming dictionary with this, you _____ (comment censored due to the "G" rating of this blog)!

Cad said...

Melodie Farnsworth from 14B has a lot of sense! LOL I loved this Magpie! :)

Daryl said...

uh oh .. the Borgias ...

Mama Zen said...

This blog is G-rated?

TALON said...

A pure delight from beginning to end, Shay.

Margaret said...

:) This made me smile as I just wrote on another comment that I find this painting a bit... boring. GASP! I guess it is the ingenious brush strokes and less formal display of her "charms" that drew attention? All I can say is, when I am not so "turned out" I avoid the camera... just sayin'.

Helen said...

I'd like to meet that Melody Farnsworth from 14B!

Kim Nelson said...

HA!
You made me laugh out loud... and I found myself wanting to defend poor Mona Lisa!

Titanium said...

This? Just adds credence to the theory that L de V was painting a feminized version of himself. Of course any self respecting woman can see that his lashless, fat-fingered self should have stayed off the canvas.

Lolamouse said...

You and Melody in 14B have it all over that ol Mona! I will have to call someone a "moonbat from hell" soon!

120 Socks said...

Made me smile, rather brilliant!

Carrie Burtt said...

Love the rhyme in your words Shay....i want to see a painting of Melody!! :-)

Steve Isaak said...

Excellent piece, everything worked.

Sara said...

This one was just plain ole FUN. I read aloud to my dog and cat. The dog panted; the cat cleaned her paw.

This one sounded like characters from Objets D'Art. I also like the name, Melody Farnsworth. It's fun to repeat:~)

Well done, my friend:~)

p.s. How's Bosco doing?

Sue J said...

I enjoyed this. Great poem.

Lucy Westenra said...

You have got what it takes! Great poem.

Lydia said...

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! Anyone who would point out that those are "lashless eyes" rings the poetry bell. This is great. Of course.

Lydia said...

p.s. Interesting about your ties to the Roosevelts. You probably would not want to create a blog titled, Roosevelt/Not the Fala.....nah!

Trellissimo said...

I hope we can look forward to more Melody Farnsworth poems!