Friday, March 18, 2011

Descent

see the madwoman in front of her cottage--

see her cats nearby,

like crows around a reddening sun,

as it burns against

banishment by degrees, in futility.



she hates the smooth sky

with its sycophant stars on their way.

see her woodish hands

held in fists at her sides.

speak her name,

watch her crumble.

_______

a fifty-five for the G Man

18 comments:

G-Man said...

Some go quietly, some go screaming!
Some leave a lasting legacy of brilliance.....
Loved your 55 Shaysie..
I'm ALWAYS honored when you add to the fun.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

Brian Miller said...

you will never take me with you...i silently scream into the night...

my aluminum foil helmet protects me...

Lynn said...

Very cool, Shay. :)

hedgewitch said...

Portrait of a madwoman, getting there...That third line is instantly visual, and it carries the piece inexorably along to each next step of words, rung by rung on its downward progress into the black hole. Fine writing Shay--so intense it's hard to believe its just 55 words.

Jingle said...

super visual imagery,
I see her there and wow...

very effective writing...
fabulous 55 to chew on and think about....

Happy Weekend,

Helen said...

55 words? Doesn't seem possible!

Daryl said...

Mrs Stiltskin, I presume?

Titanium said...

You sure didn't need more than fifty-five words to make this one fierce.

A downward spiral if ever there was one... and you built the staircase for it with these lines.

Well done!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wowzers, Shay, this is SMOKIN'. I love the crows around the reddening sun, and her wooden fists at her side. Love this poem so much!

Jannie Funster said...

I didn't know that about crows and the sun.

I like the woodish hands thing. Reminds me of that woman in a novel describe as having 2 hands as big and as red as huge lobsters. "A Book Of Ruth", I think?

xoxo

Mama Zen said...

She was asked one too many times about a Redbook . . .

I really like the image of woodish hands.

mac said...

I don't trust smooth sky haters.

Lisa said...

mmm... a madwoman with cats ~ sign me up :)

xx

TALON said...

I think she lives near me...

Love the new look, Shay!

Kim Nelson said...

The reddening sun, burning against banishment, futilely... Dusk never sounded so dramatic, Shay. Brilliant in every sense of the word.

Ami Mattison said...

Like everyone else I'm struck by "crows around a reddening sun" and "woodish hands," but what really gets me is the ending--how she disintegrates when called by her name, suggesting that she cannot be spoken. Not simply a fine write here, but intriguing and provocative.

ileana said...

Cats like crows around a reddening sun. I like that...and the woodish hands sound appealing as well. Wonderfully written, Shay.

Noelle said...

very vivid imagery her! Good stuff.