Jello Man takes on the Forces of Evil
And gets fucking creamed.
A committee is formed to analyze what went wrong and to develop possible solutions.
This committee meets bi-monthly for an hour via teleconference; it is strictly bring-your-own-donuts.
The committee issues a five hundred page report of its findings, which becomes available some three years later, but no one cares or reads it.
Promotions are given out across the board.
Disillusioned, Jello Man gives himself over to alcohol and sex.
"Jello shots!" scream the girls.
Ruined and in pieces, Jello Man crawls into the desert to meditate.
Unfortunately, in the heat, he melts altogether.
"He had no backbone!" snipes his ex-wife in her horrid smoker's voice.
"I thought he was sweet," offers one of the party girls.
"I could have protected him," insists the kindly jello mold.
Meanwhile, the Forces of Evil run amok.
Enter: Macaroni Man!
Emerging dramatically from a steaming colander, and draping himself in delicious melted cheddar,
Macaroni Man fears no one!
"Look at his elbows. He's not straight!" sniffs the preacher.
"Eww. Cheesy," says the fashion maven.
"Hoorayyyy!" shout children everywhere.
Macaroni Man, Hope of the Universe, takes on the Forces of Evil!
They have him for lunch.
Damn.
________
It just doesn't pay to be food.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but think of Macaroni Midler, and the possible duets between her and Macaroni Man.
ReplyDeleteI think I watch far too much Seinfeld.
Mmmmm macaroni.
I love this post.
So hopefully this means the forces of evil wooped some ass, eh?
ReplyDeleteThis is great...
ReplyDeleteyour powerful imagination leads me to places where the mind... Oh that mind of yours- how it works to create these almost miraculous pieces of art: your poems or stories...
I am sorry for Jelly Man though!!
hugs ¨¨:)
I love it, too! Perhaps he would have survived if he would have been lime flavored? :)
ReplyDeletebrilliant
ReplyDeleteWhat else could possibly happen to someone so cheesy and delicious?
ReplyDeleteMacaroni Man...he goes so well with wine and cheese. Yum. :)
ReplyDeleteyip, now i'm hungry. gooey cheeeeeese......
ReplyDeleteSo incredibly what I needed this Monday morning...it's drizzly, snowy and a bit dreary, but knowing that macaroni and jell o man are watching the universe somehow makes me feel much better!
ReplyDeletelove you,
gabi
The Forces of Evil can only be overcome by chocolate!
ReplyDeleteI love fucking Creamed Jello.
ReplyDeleteMacaroni ain't bad either.
These two should join forces with Hamburger Man. As the Dynamic Dinner Team, I'm sure they could lick those mealy-mouthed bad guys.
This is friggen AMAZING!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAloha, Poetess Friend!
Comfort Spiral
hahahahahahahahaha...i don't know what else to say hahahahhahahaha i have a perma-grin :) creative, cute and fun!
ReplyDeleteDeare FB,
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should have read this piece before I made my rambling comment on "The magpie in winter"...
Jello shots...
Party girls...
mmm...
And evil runs amok...
Tschuess,
Chris
"Look at his elbows. He's not straight!" sniffs the preacher.
ReplyDeleteI knew you would slip me into one of your poems eventually. Ha-ha.