Sunday, December 6, 2009

Jello Man!



Jello Man takes on the Forces of Evil

And gets fucking creamed.


A committee is formed to analyze what went wrong and to develop possible solutions.

This committee meets bi-monthly for an hour via teleconference; it is strictly bring-your-own-donuts.


The committee issues a five hundred page report of its findings, which becomes available some three years later, but no one cares or reads it.

Promotions are given out across the board.


Disillusioned, Jello Man gives himself over to alcohol and sex.

"Jello shots!" scream the girls.


Ruined and in pieces, Jello Man crawls into the desert to meditate.

Unfortunately, in the heat, he melts altogether.


"He had no backbone!" snipes his ex-wife in her horrid smoker's voice.

"I thought he was sweet," offers one of the party girls.

"I could have protected him," insists the kindly jello mold.


Meanwhile, the Forces of Evil run amok.


Enter: Macaroni Man!

Emerging dramatically from a steaming colander, and draping himself in delicious melted cheddar,

Macaroni Man fears no one!


"Look at his elbows. He's not straight!" sniffs the preacher.

"Eww. Cheesy," says the fashion maven.

"Hoorayyyy!" shout children everywhere.


Macaroni Man, Hope of the Universe, takes on the Forces of Evil!


They have him for lunch.


Damn.

________

16 comments:

ellen abbott said...

It just doesn't pay to be food.

Liza said...

I couldn't help but think of Macaroni Midler, and the possible duets between her and Macaroni Man.
I think I watch far too much Seinfeld.
Mmmmm macaroni.
I love this post.

Shelly Rayedeane said...

So hopefully this means the forces of evil wooped some ass, eh?

Dulce said...

This is great...
your powerful imagination leads me to places where the mind... Oh that mind of yours- how it works to create these almost miraculous pieces of art: your poems or stories...
I am sorry for Jelly Man though!!

hugs ¨¨:)

Riot Kitty said...

I love it, too! Perhaps he would have survived if he would have been lime flavored? :)

Lust With Wings said...

brilliant

Elizabeth Bradley said...

What else could possibly happen to someone so cheesy and delicious?

Ily said...

Macaroni Man...he goes so well with wine and cheese. Yum. :)

Shadow said...

yip, now i'm hungry. gooey cheeeeeese......

Gabriella Moonlight said...

So incredibly what I needed this Monday morning...it's drizzly, snowy and a bit dreary, but knowing that macaroni and jell o man are watching the universe somehow makes me feel much better!
love you,
gabi

Mama Zen said...

The Forces of Evil can only be overcome by chocolate!

mac said...

I love fucking Creamed Jello.
Macaroni ain't bad either.

These two should join forces with Hamburger Man. As the Dynamic Dinner Team, I'm sure they could lick those mealy-mouthed bad guys.

Cloudia said...

This is friggen AMAZING!!!!!!



Aloha, Poetess Friend!


Comfort Spiral

Kay said...

hahahahahahahahaha...i don't know what else to say hahahahhahahaha i have a perma-grin :) creative, cute and fun!

Sepiru Chris said...

Deare FB,

Maybe I should have read this piece before I made my rambling comment on "The magpie in winter"...

Jello shots...

Party girls...

mmm...

And evil runs amok...

Tschuess,
Chris

Pouty Lips said...

"Look at his elbows. He's not straight!" sniffs the preacher.

I knew you would slip me into one of your poems eventually. Ha-ha.