Lately I feel like the bitch you can't pet--

Ill-tempered. Someone might say,

"She's getting older"

If there were anyone.

Go ahead, throw that god damned ball down the hall--

I won't even lift my head.

I know how this goes. If I fetch it, you'll just pitch it away again,

Or pretend to,

While I look around in confusion. You will laugh triumphantly

Because you're smarter than the dog.

I want to be Ambassador to France

And eat crepes all day,

But I want France brought here;

No way am I getting on some god damned plane,

And besides,

They would make me travel crated, in the cargo hold.


When I sleep,

My hands and feet flip up and down, because I am remembering

That I have always been sweet by nature, eager to please,

And with any luck

I will not wake up,

But instead make you laugh and be declared cute.

Tranquilized and muzzled, caged high on the back of the animal control truck,

That's what this bitch is dreaming.


Mojo said…
Are we in a mood today?

Tell me about it.
Mama Zen said…
I declare you cute.
Cori Lynn Berg said…
Did you write this poem just for me? lol
jack sender said…
right down to what the dog was thinking while moving her feet
you nailed this one.
Anonymous said…
Oh no!
Bad puppy dreams for my sweet Monsta!
It's OK, here's your favorite treat!
Now, let's go for a nice long walk!
Then we will wrestle in the yard.

Sock Monk
T said…
Wow, just WOW!!!!

XOXO Dearest Shay! :)
Brian Miller said…
snap. let me see if i can at least find some crepes for you...
Lynn said…
Eating crepes all day with France brought to you sounds like a good idea to me.
Daryl said…
I am so upset that the asshats on the Supreme Court think its okay to show animal cruelty.... seriously old men, old women .. do you not remember that those who need no encouragement to be evil wont take this as a blessing to do evil?

Sorry but that how this amazing poem made me feel
Ileana said…
I think Bosco found a girl friend! :)
mac said…
Oh, I thought you were eating creeps. Just bite those ones ;-)
Unknown said…
Wow this is a post indeed, but not from a 'bitch' but from the heart that can be the lonely huntress indeed.

You know how I feel about you and left a little shout out to you at the end of my blog, you are amazing and I am grateful for you and that!!!

Oh and you know what I will love your bitchiness if you'll care for my catiness :-)

Love you
TALON said…
Even the gnarliest bitch can be sweet and cute and cuddly if petted in just the right way :) (and crepes don't hurt either)

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