Reanimated Lavender Granola Switchblade Nun rides again.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thieving Varmint



Oh, you thieving varmint.

You blew into town on the noon stage,

And don't think that I don't know

You're a woman with a past;

Back east, you scandalized the one-room schoolroom

When you wouldn't recite "My Love Is Like A Red, Red Rose"

And all that other rote sh*t they tried to cram down your throat.

Oh don't think that I don't know

That there's some poor dumb sodbuster someplace

Wondering where his little woman went.

Don't think that I don't know

That dance-hall girls from Topeka to Santa Fe

Keep your picture tucked in their garters.

I'm well aware

That you keep a few extra aces

Tucked up your sleeve,

And a derringer in your boot.

But what I can't understand

Is why, when I look at anything from Boot Hill to Old Blind Bob

I see your smile instead.

My heart was right here a minute ago

Until I bumped into you,

And now it's scarcer than those quarter horses from the Circle Bar Tee.

Oh, you beautiful blond-haired

Thieving varmint!

_________________

16 comments:

  1. does varmit mean bitch in your dictionary? It does in mine.

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  2. Not in mine, Vodka Mom. In mine it's an endearment!

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  3. I have this feeling she's about to meet her come-uppance anytime soon - but even so, think you'd be best watch out hon, she sounds quite a lot to handle even for you! x

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  4. "Even" me, Shrinky? Why, I'm just a mousey little schoolmarm, never been kissed. ;-)

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  5. set the stage
    high noon
    next day
    two pairs of lips wet with promises
    steady stance
    fingers flex
    showdown

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  6. Thanks for the visit and the comment - I see lots of familiar faces here in the comments section.

    Love the reference to Robbie Burns. He is/ was such an inspiration.

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  7. Thank you Chewy.

    And welcome to the Word Garden, David. :-)

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  8. I love this one! This is definitely a favorite of mine!

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  9. And just what did she do in that schoolroom?! Was she teacher or student, I wonder?

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  10. I'm pleased you like it, Mama Zen! The varmint herself seemed to, also. :-)

    A lady never tells, Jannie. ;-)

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  11. You are so good at transporting me to a new setting every time I read your poems. Each one has a specific tone, language, and atmosphere. This one made me smile.

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  12. Thanks, Grace! I truly do make an effort to stretch out.

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  13. Oooo, a showdown in front of the saloon soon, I can see it now!
    Just don't forget to wear your spurs.
    And chaps.

    Chaps always do the trick. LOL

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  14. LOL @ chaps! I thought chaps were for gay GUYS. Shows what I know. No showdown....whenever she gets near me, I get all clumsy and dopey, so I would lose. ;-)

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  15. LOL! Noooooooooooo, not just gay guys, m'lady.

    Biker chicks also wear 'em... I should know cuz I own a pair!
    ... or 2. ;)

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  16. Biker chicks! *fans self*

    Hey can ya gimme a ride...?

    g*

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Spirit, what do you wish to tell us?