Don gloves before handling porcupines;
Dark glasses when in love with the sun--
Protect virtue with dozens of petticoats;
Slouch in doorways and call, to meet men.
Never trust captains of ferry boats;
Feign boredom when purchasing wine--
During lovemaking, do not consult your notes,
And keep your damn mitts off what's mine.
_____
for magpie 46
Ooooh, I like the edginess of this one!
ReplyDeleteGood job! I did not participate this week, but the prompt has spurred my muse
so I might - Thanks.
All things that make sense. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, love this!
ReplyDeleteexcellent rules for living.
ReplyDeleteGood solid writing.
ReplyDeleteLively and scathing, but then, that's totally normal here. I like your portrait of what can live inside the social concept of a pair of gloves. Never trust captains of ferry boats, and never play cards with a man named Doc (<-Kerouac)
ReplyDeleteThis is my favorite Magpie Tale this week...a mix of the whimsical and the serious. I'm going to check out your blog!
ReplyDeleteNice job!
ReplyDeleteHil-AR-ious! How do you DO this??!! "glove before handling porcupines"....I looked at gloves and saw gloves and came to a full stop....I think upon death you would do humankind a service by donating your brain to science!
ReplyDeleteI love this one especially much. I will use the porcupine advice as a Note To Self:)
Grand slam home run!!!
ReplyDeleteVery nice...
ReplyDeleteVery Decemberist of you! In the best way possible.
ReplyDeleteReally? Does one have to wear gloves to handle porcupines? How awesome.
I agree with Izzy...this is very edgy and I love the contrasts. Great job!
ReplyDeleteYou and your endless litany of rules!
ReplyDeletelove this - especially that sharp last line! Very feline!
ReplyDeleteFantastic words ...I really like this.
ReplyDeletei love your mind. i'd love to put this up in my house...
ReplyDeleteHah! Very clever. Excellent advice for the New Year.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of this chorus to an old song!
ReplyDeleteAll together now, one, two, three
Keep your mind on your driving
Keep your hands on the wheel
Keep your snoopy eyes on the road ahead
We're having fun, sitting in the backseat
Kissing and a hugging with Fred
It's good to be back reading your writing, Shay.
ReplyDeleteThat last line had me snorting with laughter :)
Lots of great advice to start the New Year....(especially the mitts off)I am glad its here...ready to get blogging again...Have a great one...glad to have met you this 2010....bkm
ReplyDeleteyeah! Hands off! Great post!
ReplyDeleteloud and clear.
ReplyDeletehappy new year!
dear.
I loved this...kinda like Ann Landers when she got all bitchy :)
ReplyDeleteSpoken like a true cynic, but beautifully spoken.
ReplyDeletei forgot how i found you, but i am glad i did.
ReplyDeletebeautiful poetry!
Well said by someone who has handled the porcupines of life
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year Shay
Love from the Moon
Great, especially the last line. You do have a way with words.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Shay.
Wait a minute let me go get my notebook!...This is brilliant Shay! You always have such a unique way of saying things in a whole new way! I love it!! :-)
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year! :-)