I Can Haz Coffee Break? (dedicated to all my friends who are moms)

Mama Year was trying to get some stuff done, but nooOOooo.

May jumped as July set off another firecracker behind her.

"Make him stop it, Mama!" she cried, and then went back to posing in front of the mirror, in her colorful new spring outfits.

January sat in a corner, trying to read a book. "Make them all stop it. I've read this same line ten times."

September and October were squabbling.

"You always wreck all my stuff!" yelped September.

"Oh so what? It's all so last season anyway," countered October with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue," sang June, making all her plans.

"Oh please," sneered February. "You'd think no one ever jumped the broomstick without you."

"You're just jealous because you're short and dull," replied June in a superior tone.

February looked hurt, then said, "But people say I have a good heart," and spread her valentines out in front of her.

March came blowing through like a whirlwind, scattering the cards.

"Mama!" shrieked February.

"Not now," called Mama Year.

"Stop hogging everything!" November warned December. "Stay on your own side, you crazy shopaholic!"

"What's the matter, Piggy? Scared I'll ask you to share that turkey and stuffing? If you love turkey so much, why don't you marry it? Huh? Huh?"

April added to the cacophony by crying loudly.

"Cry baby, cry baby," taunted August. "Why don't you come outside and do something?"

"I'm going to send you all outside in about a minute," warned Mama Year. "Where's my Tylenol?"

"Send them now," groused January.

Mama Year shot a look and said, "I brought you into this world, child, and--"

"I can take you out of it," mimicked December with an eye roll. 

"That's it! Everybody out!"

They all knew, when Mama Year used that tone of voice, they'd better listen,

And so they all trooped out, except January,

Who was so quiet that she remained unnoticed in the window seat,

Smiling to herself,

All wrapped up in her book.



Riot Kitty said…
Awwwww! I'm sending this to my dad ;O
Ileana said…
Could it get any better, Chica?? Witty, funny, creative...I love it!! Btw, the images are priceless! :)
TALON said…
Thank you, Shay! Pure delight from beginning to end! (And October would NEVER squabble - lol!)
mac said…
It's a darned good thing these babies weren't all born in the same month, like my family.
If they were, we'd have May I, May II, May III, May IV, May V, May VI, May VII, May VII, May IX, May X, May XI, May XII...Keeping track of the months would be a nightmare ;-)
Senorita said…
This and the pictures are so adorable !!
Holland said…
Love the pictures... and I know that my brother (who is older than me) was always very grateful that my parents stopped having babies after having me.... I was the baby sis from hell for him and yet I was soooo cute...lol
Joanna Jenkins said…
Yeah baby! That was fantastic!
Mojo said…
And before she knew it, all the months had grown up and gone off to become Snap-On Tool calendars with improbably constructed pin-up girls in skimpy outfits hanging on them. "Where does the time go?" Mama Year mused sadly...
Lynn said…
Not a mom, but loved it anyway. :)
Brian Miller said…
haha. glad i only have 2 months in the house...they are more than enough for me. wonderful spun shay!
Jannie Funster said…
You are truly a fun, witty, fun, excellent, fun genius.

And how can I not now go singing "A-A-april, come she will..."

Jinksy said…
A very clever tale of many tails! :)
Maude Lynn said…
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Kelly said…
fucking hilarious, love every word of it!