Just gives 'em the yo heave ho, collects Giuseppe Verdi the kitten, and walks out,
Strutting like Catherine the Great, or Lady Gaga or somebody.
She finds God.
God is head waitress at Danny's Coffee Shop.
She makes killer menu boards,
And does all the hiring.
In no time, Tanya fits in like Portia de Rossi does on Ellen's arm,
And Giuseppe Verdi is merrily attacking the resident black panther,
Who outweighs him by about umpty-zillion to one.
Giuseppe Verdi bats at the panther,
Who is,
Of course,
The shape-shifted Queen of the Vampires,
And down she goes like a ton of bricks.
She lays on the floor with her paws in the air and her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth;
If she could make her eyes into X's, she would.
Chloe scoops up the victorious kitten, kisses him and sets him inside an empty sugar bowl,
Which promptly falls over.
Some chick catches it before it falls off the table.
She is here for open mic night.
Her name is Coal Black, and her big hit is called "Sugar Shock Of Love."
She doesn't do drugs anymore.
Her hair is all weird.
She wears so much mascara that she looks like an electrocuted raccoon.
The Queen of the Vampires, still in panther form, is sitting with her favorite, the Dark-Haired Chick.
When Coal Black straps on her guitar, checks the amps, and starts in with the first notes of "I Love Rock 'n' Roll",
The QOTV drags the reluctant Dark-Haired Chick up to the stage by her jacket sleeve,
Pulling her backwards with her teeth.
Being dragged anyplace by a black panther is very persuasive stuff.
Coal Black and the Dark-Haired Chick share a mic and scream Coal Black's newest song, "Buzz Saw My Heart" together.
Sing.
I meant sing.
Giuseppe Verdi sits on the QOTV's head, watching with his big amazed eyes.
Tanya rakes in the tips.
Savanna still has a knife in her boot.
It's another spifftastic night at Danny's Coffee Shop.
__________
picture: Crystal Renn
Oh my freaking Goddess, HOW DO YOU DO IT????? Poem after poem, story after story, every one SPIFFTASTIC!!?????? Have you no mercy? How can I ever write again???.....pumpkins and such...pull-LEEZ!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI loved every single perfect word.
More, please!
*Clap Clap*
ReplyDeleteAloha from Waikiki :)
Comfort Spiral
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About a month ago, a feral cat had kittens in my basement. Last week, after a nasty rain, I found a tiny kitten washed up at my stairs. I wrapped it in a towel and brought it inside. I tried to feed the tiny thing, but no luck, it was too far gone. Determined to save the other kittens (mama cat disappeared), I grabbed my lantern and went hunting. I found one, a jet black kitten, starving...it too died. I was really depressed. Then, the following day, I heard the last one of the kittens.
ReplyDeleteThis kitten was going to make it no matter what.
I had to reach my arm blindly into the stone wall to retrieve the kitten. I caught her! Not knowing kittens, I called a friend that does. She took the kitty and has nursed it along. It is doing remarkably well :-)
I mention it here because, like Giuseppe Verdi, Roxie (the kitty) likes to hang out in her new mommy's hair :-)
Another fine example why recommending you at One Stop Poetry's "One Shot Spotlight" was a good idea on my part.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you can get some funny looks when you go to the coffee shop and order a "Giuseppe Verdi"
I like the whole connectivity thing going on at Danny's. Giuseppe Verdi is a great name for a cat. :)
ReplyDeletelove it.
ReplyDeleteSomeday I am going to Danny's, but not on open mic night . trust me..its better that way
ReplyDeleteSpifftastic! Yes, it is! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's about time Danny brought in some music!
ReplyDeleteDear Tiger-Friend: You are brilliant. One of my favorite lines EVER:
ReplyDelete"God is head waitress at Danny's Coffee Shop."
xoxo
Weasel-friend
YOUUUU JUST ARE AWESOMEEEE..i love it! hahaa you make me always eager to read your every post shay!
ReplyDeleteBRAVOOO..hugs! :)