Cupid, drunk and stumbling,

Comes out of a bowling alley bar.

He drops his bow


But finally gets a few arrows and curse words off.

His arrows hit some people in the foot, resulting in troublesome fetishes,

But, because he is Cupid, fucked up beyond all recognition or not,

A few times he hits people's hearts.

"There!" he crows, waving a bottle. "Fall in love, you dopes!"

Except it sounds like, "There!

Fawin la, y'doe," because Cupid is fried to a crackly crunch.

They do, you know.

Fawin love.

For a while, life is paradise, happiness, a candy-coated love song world.


By the time Cupid has spent the next morning talking to Ralph on the big white phone, and shoveling down aspirin;

By the time he has sheepishly turned in his report to God, and completed his community service,

These unions have only led to




Cupid gives up bowling and starts hanging out in church basements, drinking bad coffee,

But he still can't resist firing off a few arrows before and after the meetings.

His sponsor, a former boxer, tells him to "cut that shit out,"

But at least, sober,

His aim is a little better,

Though far from perfect.

If you fawin love,

Don't believe it is fate, kismet, "meant to be."

(you thought that last time, remember?)

It's just that little fucker Cupid

Screwing around.



Mama Zen said…
I always suspected something of the sort!
ellen abbott said…
I wish I could think of something clever to say besides...I loved this one!
mac said…
Well, this explains a lot.
I had been wondering about that l'il guy. I thought maybe he was just being mean to me, or something.
Turns out, he's just incompedent. Or maybe he shot me before his sobriety ;-)
Anonymous said…
I still thank Cupid for doing the best he can!
That picture of cupid is so funny. I don't know where you find these photos but you always pick just the right one to go with your poetry.

My fave line: "His arrows hit some people in the foot, resulting in troublesome fetishes."

Mahvelous dahlink.
Bill Lisleman said…
great picture - did you steal it?
so that's where the foot fetish comes from - thanks I would have never guessed. Add a little logic and now I know about the ass-man thing too.
Fireblossom said…
Mama Zen--your sleuthing is right on the money again.

Ellen--that's a lovely comment all by itself. Thank you, my friend.

Mac--always allow for simple boneheadedness before assuming meanness. And yes, it does explain a lot, doesn't it?

Secretia--you old softie you. Goddess love ya. There should be more like you.

Pouty--you've got questions, I've got answers. And yes, that picture made me laugh out loud as soon as I saw it.

Walking Man--so I amyoose you? If so, I'm glad. ;-)

Lisleman-- you're new here, aren't you? Mhm. There's a bean field with your name on it.
Riot Kitty said…
This one made me laugh! Especially the part about foot fetishes. Remind me to tell you an airport story related to that.
G-Man said…
I DO indeed LOVE pretty feet....
But it's not a fetish, more of an obsession!
Jannie Funster said…
Dear Lord, this is so funny and great!!
TALON said…
A drunken cupid could definitely explain a lot of strange love connections.

"fried to a crackly crunch" - that is a perfect description!

And I guess I know now why there was never a Mrs. Cupid :)
Dul├že ♥ said…
Youa and that Dany's and that Cupid now... oh my God
Must go have a drink or a coffee... and get back to re read your wise gifts!
Love U fave!
Joanna Jenkins said…
You cracked me up. That's a good one.
Bleeding thoughtless cherub, well at least now I understand better my 20's arrows in my feet OH well.
You have a lovely week Lamb.
All my very best,
Ileana said…
LOL @ that little heartbreaker!
Aw crap, my son just left his wife and is asking for a divorce. I'd love to show him this appropriately directed poem...but he's not ready. Damn Cupid, damn arrows.
Kay said… always bring a smile with your wit and charisma. Settled in with a cup of coffee, I venture on to see what else you have been up to :) yah!
Shadow said…
this is a DELIGHT!!!!! at least now i know how foot fetishes start heee heee heeeee
Daryl said…
Ah so ... I always thought that little bugger was blitzed
cinderkeys said…
I think I've known people who needed to read that poem. Perhaps some of them can still be saved ...

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